Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1778 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1702
<1min

One-liner #0456

“I hope I live to be as old as my jokes.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1793
<1min

One-liner #0457

“I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging - it'll be called You-Twit-Face.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1761
<1min

One-liner #0458

“I looked at my Christmas tree today and sure enough, I couldn’t see any forests..”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1775
<1min

One-liner #0459

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”- Bernard Manning... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
2009
<1min

One-liner #0460

“I smile because I have no idea what's going on.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1712
<1min

One-liner #0461

“I told a girl she drew her eyebrows to high – she looked surprised.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
2042
<1min

One-liner #0462

“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1914
<1min

One-liner #0463

“I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
2129
<1min

One-liner #0464

“I wish the chemists who successfully removed the lead from gasoline would try the same with our politicians.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1748
<1min

One-liner #0465

“I’d work out, but I’m still trying to perfect my ‘before’ picture.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min

One-liner #0466

“I’ve decided to stop beating around the bush; I'm going to move on to the ornamental shrubbery.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1768
<1min

One-liner #0467

“I'd gladly participate in any experiment to test the effect of sudden wealth on an individual.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1744
<1min

One-liner #0468

“If a line is the shortest distance between two points, why does waiting in line take so long?”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1820
<1min

One-liner #0469

“If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
2027
<1min

One-liner #0470

“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1772
<1min

One-liner #0471

“If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest thingamajig in the whatchamacallit!”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1812
<1min

One-liner #0472

“If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
2021
<1min

One-liner #0473

“If necessity is the mother of invention, I bet MacGyver is the father.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1857
<1min

One-liner #0474

“If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1870
<1min

One-liner #0475

“If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1744
<1min

One-liner #0476

“If you can still do at 60 what you did at 20, it means you weren't doing much at 20.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1777
<1min

One-liner #0477

“If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1831
<1min

One-liner #0478

“If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say, ’Help, they've turned me into a parrot’, you are wasting everybody's time.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
2064
<1min

One-liner #0479

“If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1869
<1min

One-liner #0480

“If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1765
<1min

One-liner #0481

“In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what's going on and this person must be fired.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1782
<1min

One-liner #0482

“Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1841
<1min

One-liner #0483

“Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1954
<1min

One-liner #0484

“It is never wise to let any piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1760
<1min

One-liner #0485

“It must be tough going through life with a short - hey look, there goes a butterfly!”... read more..