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July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1961
<1min
One-liner #0637
On the wall of a Baltimore Estate:Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law - Sisters of Mercy.
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2024
<1min
One-liner #0638
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2027
<1min
One-liner #0639
Politicians: People who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel.
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2020
<1min
One-liner #0640
Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2018
<1min
One-liner #0641
Research has determined that the shelf life of fruitcake is longer than the shelf.
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1998
<1min
One-liner #0642
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.~ Victor Borge
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2032
<1min
One-liner #0643
Stupidity is like nuclear power: it can be used for good or evil - but you still don't want to get any on you.
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2083
<1min
One-liner #0644
The "problem" with today's society, is that; (no one) knows how, to punctuate correctly, anymore?
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2001
<1min
One-liner #0645
The colder the X-ray table the more of you has to be on it.
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1980
<1min
One-liner #0646
The first line of the notice said, "Please Take Notice," so I took it.
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1919
<1min
One-liner #0647
The meeting of the clairvoyant society has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2122
<1min
One-liner #0648
The proper response to Good morning, is not Prove it!
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2008
<1min
One-liner #0649
The real reason Grandparents and Grandkids get along with each other so well is that they both have a common nemesis.
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2053
<1min
One-liner #0650
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail and not his tongue.
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2026
<1min
One-liner #0651
The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.- Willie Tyler
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2046
<1min
One-liner #0652
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2063
<1min
One-liner #0653
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2036
<1min
One-liner #0654
The word "aerobics" was invented when the gym instructors got together and said: "If we're going to charge $20 an hour, we can't call it Jumping Up and Down."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2034
<1min
One-liner #0655
The words "Do It Yourself" or "Self-Help" are really code for "The Way Chuck Norris Does It."
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2125
<1min
One-liner #0656
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2172
<1min
One-liner #0657
There are two secrets for success:1. Don't reveal all your secrets
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2120
<1min
One-liner #0658
There was once a movie entitled, How to Irritate People. It is obviously the employee training film at my local bank.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2044
<1min
One-liner #0659
There's a sign above the scale in my doctor's office that says, "Pretend it's your IQ."
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2127
<1min
One-liner #0660
This is precisely the sort of thing that people who like this sort of thing will like.
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2207
<1min
One-liner #0661
To lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd.
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2144
<1min
One-liner #0662
Two things hard on the heart: running up stairs and running down people.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2080
<1min
One-liner #0663
Vegetarian. That's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.'- Andy Rooney
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2180
<1min
One-liner #0664
Want Ad: Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks "frog."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2064
<1min
One-liner #0665
We're looking for interested folks who would like to join 'Time Travelers for a Better Yesterday' last week.
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2252
<1min
One-liner #0666
What a hotel! The towels were so fluffy I could hardly close my suitcase. - Henny Youngman
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Results 1231 - 1260 of 1778