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July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
1778
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2103
<1min
One-liner #0032
"Are there any side effects to these pills apart from bankruptcy?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1998
<1min
One-liner #0033
"Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1826
<1min
One-liner #0034
"As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn't let me play with."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1769
<1min
One-liner #0035
"As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1763
<1min
One-liner #0036
"As a teenager you are in the last stage of life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."~Fran Lebowitz
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1794
<1min
One-liner #0037
"As I said before, I never repeat myself."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1889
<1min
One-liner #0038
"Ask me about my vow of silence."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1918
<1min
One-liner #0039
"Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1809
<1min
One-liner #0040
"At my age, forget all the health food; I need all the preservatives I can get!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1841
<1min
One-liner #0041
"At my age, I can't see the forest OR the trees."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1862
<1min
One-liner #0042
"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1847
<1min
One-liner #0043
"At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2012
<1min
One-liner #0044
"Ba-dee, ba-dee, ba-dee . . . . .that's all folks."- Porky Pig
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1829
<1min
One-liner #0045
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."~ Mark Twain
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1760
<1min
One-liner #0046
"Be different; Conform."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1856
<1min
One-liner #0047
"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."~Will Rogers
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1782
<1min
One-liner #0048
"Before resolving to jog five miles a day, visit a cardiologist to have your heart examined, a podiatrist to have your feet examined and a psychiatrist to have your head examined. "
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1892
<1min
One-liner #0049
"Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1814
<1min
One-liner #0050
"Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1807
<1min
One-liner #0051
"Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1803
<1min
One-liner #0052
"Buffet" is a French term that means, "Get up and get it yourself."- Greg Ray
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1709
<1min
One-liner #0053
"Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1989
<1min
One-liner #0054
"By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1853
<1min
One-liner #0055
"By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1816
<1min
One-liner #0056
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1845
<1min
One-liner #0058
"Carbohydrates: The stuff that makes food taste good."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1903
<1min
One-liner #0059
"Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture." - Jacquelyn Mitchard
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1902
<1min
One-liner #0060
"Centipede: An ant built to government specifications."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1846
<1min
One-liner #0061
"Chickens should learn to talk because nobody ever said let's go get a bucket of parrot."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1873
<1min
One-liner #0062
"Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath."- Richard Zera.
read more..
Results 631 - 660 of 1778