Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1778 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liner #0153
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1985
<1min

One-liner #0153

"I used to watch golf on TV but my doctor told me that I need more exercise, so now I watch tennis." read more..
One-liner #0154
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1946
<1min

One-liner #0154

"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory - you couldn't park anywhere near the place." read more..
One-liner #0155
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2042
<1min

One-liner #0155

"I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I Called In Dead." read more..
One-liner #0156
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1974
<1min

One-liner #0156

"I want instant gratification no matter how long it takes." read more..
One-liner #0157
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2018
<1min

One-liner #0157

"I want my children to have all the things I never could afford - then I want to move in with them." read more..
One-liner #0158
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1879
<1min

One-liner #0158

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."~Groucho Marx read more..
One-liner #0159
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1898
<1min

One-liner #0159

"I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on, but I can't afford one so ... I'm wearing my garage door opener." read more..
One-liner #0160
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1797
<1min

One-liner #0160

"I went to see Pavarotti once and I'll tell you this much, he doesn't like it when you join in." read more..
One-liner #0161
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2489
<1min

One-liner #0161

"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you." read more..
One-liner #0162
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1945
<1min

One-liner #0162

"I worry we are spending so much time on the Internet we are losing our ability to connect with people on TV."~@toddieC read more..
One-liner #0163
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2012
<1min

One-liner #0163

"Ideas are great provided they don't degenerate into work." read more..
One-liner #0164
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2044
<1min

One-liner #0164

"If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration then evidentially I keep sharing elevators with a lot of very intelligent people." read more..
One-liner #0165
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2069
<1min

One-liner #0165

"If God intended us to eat seafood, why did He hide them underwater?"- Ed Penland read more..
One-liner #0166
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2083
<1min

One-liner #0166

"If houseplants ever take over the world, I'm probably going to be sitting in shackles at their version of the Nuremberg trials."- Tim H. Richweis read more..
One-liner #0167
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1995
<1min

One-liner #0167

"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?" read more..
One-liner #0168
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2090
<1min

One-liner #0168

"If it is true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why mothers cry at weddings." read more..
One-liner #0169
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2095
<1min

One-liner #0169

"If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?" read more..
One-liner #0170
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2055
<1min

One-liner #0170

"If money won't make you happy, you won't like poverty either." read more..
One-liner #0171
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2053
<1min

One-liner #0171

"If Patrick Henry thought taxation was bad without representation... he should see it with!" read more..
One-liner #0172
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2020
<1min

One-liner #0172

"If truth is beauty, how come no one gets their hair done in the library?"- Lily Tomlin read more..
One-liner #0173
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1896
<1min

One-liner #0173

"If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?" read more..
One-liner #0174
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1866
<1min

One-liner #0174

"If we are to learn anything of value from Star Trek, it's that the universe is filled with vastly different styles of foreheads." - Chris Needles read more..
One-liner #0175
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1993
<1min

One-liner #0175

"If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?" read more..
One-liner #0176
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2022
<1min

One-liner #0176

"If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, press one now - if you are calling from a rotary phone, hang up and call back from a touch-tone phone." read more..
One-liner #0177
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2083
<1min

One-liner #0177

"If you are good, you will be assigned all the work - if you are really good, you will get out of it." read more..
One-liner #0178
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2001
<1min

One-liner #0178

"If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague." read more..
One-liner #0179
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2067
<1min

One-liner #0179

"If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights." read more..
One-liner #0180
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2351
<1min

One-liner #0180

"If you ever find yourself being ripped apart by a pack of wolves, try not to scream - everybody knows wolves can smell fear."- Sean Alex read more..
One-liner #0181
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1839
<1min

One-liner #0181

"If you haven't accomplished anything so far, then your best days are likely to be ahead of you - but then again, you should consider your track record." read more..
One-liner #0182
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1887
<1min

One-liner #0182

"If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker?" read more..
Results 751 - 780 of 1778