Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1778 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liner #0183
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1714
<1min

One-liner #0183

"If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip." read more..
One-liner #0184
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1727
<1min

One-liner #0184

"If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen." read more..
One-liner #0185
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1909
<1min

One-liner #0185

"If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say - talk in your sleep." read more..
One-liner #0186
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1823
<1min

One-liner #0186

"If you're a cynic, everyone's corrupt - if you're an idealist, everyone's corrupt, except you." read more..
One-liner #0187
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1688
<1min

One-liner #0187

"If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money in prolonging the problem." read more..
One-liner #0188
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1640
<1min

One-liner #0188

"If you're not receiving enough attention in a store, try knocking over some very expensive antique lamps." read more..
One-liner #0189
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1772
<1min

One-liner #0189

"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."- Robert Orben read more..
One-liner #0190
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1749
<1min

One-liner #0190

"I'm a pretty patient person - just as long as I'm not kept waiting for anything." read more..
One-liner #0191
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1799
<1min

One-liner #0191

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."- Frank Lloyd Wright read more..
One-liner #0192
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1644
<1min

One-liner #0192

"I'm going to live forever, or die trying!"~Spider Robinson read more..
One-liner #0193
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1722
<1min

One-liner #0193

"I'm in great shape for a man of 65 years - it's too bad I'm only 42." read more..
One-liner #0194
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1745
<1min

One-liner #0194

"I'm nobody's fool, but am available for adoption." read more..
One-liner #0195
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1789
<1min

One-liner #0195

"I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling." read more..
One-liner #0196
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1678
<1min

One-liner #0196

"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."- Woody Allen read more..
One-liner #0197
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1766
<1min

One-liner #0197

"I'm sorry. Am I driving too close in front of you?" read more..
One-liner #0198
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1684
<1min

One-liner #0198

"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch; my grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."- Woody Allen read more..
One-liner #0199
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1600
<1min

One-liner #0199

"In Congress someone gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and then they all disagree." read more..
One-liner #0200
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1687
<1min

One-liner #0200

"In light of the economic crisis, My family extending the 5 second rule for dropped food to 10 seconds, especially in the case of blueberries."- Rick Griffin read more..
One-liner #0201
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1799
<1min

One-liner #0201

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." read more..
One-liner #0202
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1625
<1min

One-liner #0202

"In this crazy world we live in, every 60 seconds a minute happens." read more..
One-liner #0203
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1633
<1min

One-liner #0203

"Irony: God made the tortoise with a 0.3 drag co-efficient." read more..
One-liner #0204
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1833
<1min

One-liner #0204

"It could be worse: there could be 35 teachers for every student." read more..
One-liner #0205
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1737
<1min

One-liner #0205

"It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, until you lose." read more..
One-liner #0206
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1819
<1min

One-liner #0206

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."- Erma Bombeck read more..
One-liner #0207
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1640
<1min

One-liner #0207

"It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips." read more..
One-liner #0208
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1665
<1min

One-liner #0208

"It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips." read more..
One-liner #0209
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1706
<1min

One-liner #0209

"It is never wise to let any piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry." read more..
One-liner #0210
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1914
<1min

One-liner #0210

"It sure is easier to get Junior up for school since he got his nose ring." read more..
One-liner #0211
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1697
<1min

One-liner #0211

"It was different when we were kids; in second grade, a teacher came in and gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts and crafts to make ashtrays for Mother's Day."- read more..
One-liner #0212
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1628
<1min

One-liner #0212

"It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water."- Franklin P. Jones read more..
Results 781 - 810 of 1778