Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1778 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liner #0213
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1723
<1min

One-liner #0213

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy - it's a question of finding a sickness you like."~Jackie Mason read more..
One-liner #0214
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1686
<1min

One-liner #0214

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy, it's a question of finding a sickness you like."~Jackie Mason read more..
One-liner #0215
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1836
<1min

One-liner #0215

"It's not a bug - it's just an undocumented feature." read more..
One-liner #0216
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1633
<1min

One-liner #0216

"It's not an optical illusion - it just looks like one." read more..
One-liner #0217
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1681
<1min

One-liner #0217

"It's not me who can't keep a secret it's the people I tell that can't."- Abraham Lincoln read more..
One-liner #0218
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1593
<1min

One-liner #0218

"It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker." read more..
One-liner #0219
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1694
<1min

One-liner #0219

"I've been having trouble concentrating lately - I think I have that attention deficit whatever." read more..
One-liner #0220
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1655
<1min

One-liner #0220

"I've spent most of my life golfing - the rest I've just wasted" read more..
One-liner #0221
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1743
<1min

One-liner #0221

"Jesus said we will always have the poor amongst us. Well, here I am."- Juan Ruiz, www.askjuan.net read more..
One-liner #0222
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1651
<1min

One-liner #0222

"Join the AAAAAA! (American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous)" read more..
One-liner #0223
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1699
<1min

One-liner #0223

"Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it." read more..
One-liner #0224
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1766
<1min

One-liner #0224

"Kissing - A means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other." read more..
One-liner #0225
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1699
<1min

One-liner #0225

"Last night I played a blank tape at full blast and the mime next door went nuts." read more..
One-liner #0226
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1601
<1min

One-liner #0226

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement."- Mark Twain read more..
One-liner #0227
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1714
<1min

One-liner #0227

"Lecturing is transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either." read more..
One-liner #0228
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1758
<1min

One-liner #0228

"Light sabers don't kill people. Jedi Knights kill people." read more..
One-liner #0229
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1716
<1min

One-liner #0229

"Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.”~ Mary Schmich read more..
One-liner #0230
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1685
<1min

One-liner #0230

"Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift." read more..
One-liner #0231
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1725
<1min

One-liner #0231

"Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft - today, it's called golf." read more..
One-liner #0232
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1769
<1min

One-liner #0232

"May thy ball lie in green pastures ... and not in still waters." read more..
One-liner #0233
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1698
<1min

One-liner #0233

"Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry." read more..
One-liner #0234
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1718
<1min

One-liner #0234

"Money can't buy happiness - but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo" read more..
One-liner #0235
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1659
<1min

One-liner #0235

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, and that's close enough." read more..
One-liner #0236
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1729
<1min

One-liner #0236

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman read more..
One-liner #0237
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1773
<1min

One-liner #0237

"Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster - keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this." read more..
One-liner #0238
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1872
<1min

One-liner #0238

"My father invented the burglar alarm - which unfortunately was stolen from him."- Victor Borge read more..
One-liner #0239
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1758
<1min

One-liner #0239

"My favorite party game is 'Pin the Cleanup on the Guests.'" read more..
One-liner #0240
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1740
<1min

One-liner #0240

"My girlfriend is at that stage when her biological clock is telling her it's time for her to be making me feel guilty and immature."- Kevin Hench read more..
One-liner #0241
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1737
<1min

One-liner #0241

"My home town was so small that the class valedictorian had both the highest & lowest averages." read more..
One-liner #0242
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1678
<1min

One-liner #0242

"My home town was so small that when it snows, salt is spread with a salad shooter." read more..
Results 811 - 840 of 1778