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July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
1778
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2026 (682)
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1686
<1min
One-liner #0274
"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common - they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1653
<1min
One-liner #0275
"Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other."- Oscar Ameringer
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1668
<1min
One-liner #0276
"Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1826
<1min
One-liner #0277
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is w
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1700
<1min
One-liner #0278
"Rain is caused by big, high-pressure areas; cold fronts; warm, moist air; and the first day of your vacation."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1817
<1min
One-liner #0279
"Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1806
<1min
One-liner #0280
"Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0281
"Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1821
<1min
One-liner #0282
"Red meat is not bad for you - it's green fuzzy meat that's bad for you"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1760
<1min
One-liner #0283
"Responsibility: Something you should accept if, and only if, they have irrefutable photographic evidence."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0284
"ROME: Catholic theologians now concentrating on Problem of Evil after finally solving a Problem like Maria."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1652
<1min
One-liner #0285
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year."- Victor Borge
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1793
<1min
One-liner #0286
"Santa must be a man because no woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1767
<1min
One-liner #0287
"Save the earth - it's the only planet with chocolate."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1925
<1min
One-liner #0288
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1779
<1min
One-liner #0289
"Sign on the door of a marriage license bureau: 'Out to Lunch. Think it over.'"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1751
<1min
One-liner #0290
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1771
<1min
One-liner #0291
"Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1719
<1min
One-liner #0292
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1746
<1min
One-liner #0293
"Some people have a way with words - others not have way."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1835
<1min
One-liner #0294
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."- Rita Rudner
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1814
<1min
One-liner #0295
"Stay clear of those folks, Martha; if they get raptured, that car's gonna be all over the road."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1893
<1min
One-liner #0296
"STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1686
<1min
One-liner #0297
"Support the metric system every inch of the way!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1903
<1min
One-liner #0298
"Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1801
<1min
One-liner #0299
"Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1812
<1min
One-liner #0300
"Television has brought back murder into the home where it belongs."- Alfred Hitchcock.
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1796
<1min
One-liner #0301
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not - Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1771
<1min
One-liner #0302
"The Bureau of Incomplete Statistics reports that one out of three."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1767
<1min
One-liner #0303
"The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out."
read more..
Results 871 - 900 of 1778