Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1778 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liner #0304
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1759
<1min

One-liner #0304

"The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to ..... to ........ uh ...........…" read more..
One-liner #0305
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1936
<1min

One-liner #0305

"The difference between a computer expert and a novice is that the novice hesitates before doing anything stupid." read more..
One-liner #0306
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1838
<1min

One-liner #0306

"The first myth of management is that it exists." read more..
One-liner #0307
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1820
<1min

One-liner #0307

"The flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot - like anyone goes, 'Oh, he's good. I like his work.'"- David Spade read more..
One-liner #0308
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1828
<1min

One-liner #0308

"The human brain is a wonderful thing: it starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public." read more..
One-liner #0309
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1775
<1min

One-liner #0309

"The income tax form has been simplified beyond all understanding." read more..
One-liner #0310
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1792
<1min

One-liner #0310

"The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates."~Dave Barry read more..
One-liner #0311
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1809
<1min

One-liner #0311

"The main problem with mental notes is the ink fades so fast." read more..
One-liner #0312
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1839
<1min

One-liner #0312

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once." read more..
One-liner #0313
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1787
<1min

One-liner #0313

"The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet is to let the cow eat it, and then eat the cow." read more..
One-liner #0314
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1797
<1min

One-liner #0314

"The obituaries in the newspaper prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that people die in alphabetical order." read more..
One-liner #0315
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1972
<1min

One-liner #0315

"The older I get, the faster I was." read more..
One-liner #0316
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1943
<1min

One-liner #0316

"The only thing that wakes you up faster than coffee is spilled coffee." read more..
One-liner #0317
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1782
<1min

One-liner #0317

"The only time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it's holding a parking ticket." read more..
One-liner #0318
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1867
<1min

One-liner #0318

"The other day I nearly succumbed to a bout of narcissism: seriously, I just don't know what's come over me, me, me, me." read more..
One-liner #0319
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1847
<1min

One-liner #0319

"The police have stopped my husband so many times for speeding, they decided to just give him a season ticket." read more..
One-liner #0320
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1904
<1min

One-liner #0320

"The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed." read more..
One-liner #0322
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1776
<1min

One-liner #0322

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible."- George Burns read more..
One-liner #0323
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1847
<1min

One-liner #0323

"The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office."~Will Rogers read more..
One-liner #0324
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1885
<1min

One-liner #0324

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."- Calvin and Hobbes - Bill Watterson read more..
One-liner #0325
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1826
<1min

One-liner #0325

"The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money."- David Richerby read more..
One-liner #0326
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1960
<1min

One-liner #0326

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was." read more..
One-liner #0327
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1783
<1min

One-liner #0327

"The trouble with eating at an all-you-can-eat restaurant is that five or six days later you're hungry again." read more..
One-liner #0328
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1785
<1min

One-liner #0328

"The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!" read more..
One-liner #0329
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1886
<1min

One-liner #0329

"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down." read more..
One-liner #0330
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1766
<1min

One-liner #0330

"The world's full of apathy, but I don't care." read more..
One-liner #0331
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1755
<1min

One-liner #0331

"The worst thing about censorship is ****** ** ********!" read more..
One-liner #0332
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1902
<1min

One-liner #0332

"There are 10 types of people in the world; those that understand binary, and those that don't." read more..
One-liner #0333
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1803
<1min

One-liner #0333

"There are more important things in life than money but they won't go out with you if you're broke." read more..
One-liner #0334
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1879
<1min

One-liner #0334

"There aren't enough days in the weekend."~ Steven Wright read more..
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