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July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
1778
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1856
<1min
One-liner #0335
"There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1927
<1min
One-liner #0336
"There's only two more days to procrastinate before Christmas."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1925
<1min
One-liner #0337
"There's too much blood in my caffeine system."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1815
<1min
One-liner #0338
"They have Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now - you call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1885
<1min
One-liner #0339
"They say kids brighten the home - that's because they never turn the lights off."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1832
<1min
One-liner #0340
"Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1918
<1min
One-liner #0341
"Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1964
<1min
One-liner #0342
"To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1930
<1min
One-liner #0343
"To prevent sagging skin eat 'til the wrinkles fill out."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1820
<1min
One-liner #0344
"To vacillate or not to vacillate - that is the question...or is it?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1808
<1min
One-liner #0345
"Today I went to buy a toaster and was given a bank as a free gift."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1889
<1min
One-liner #0346
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life but so was yesterday and look how you messed that up."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1864
<1min
One-liner #0347
"Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1803
<1min
One-liner #0348
"Trouble with grammar have I, yes."- Yoda
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1799
<1min
One-liner #0349
"Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1897
<1min
One-liner #0350
"Two can live as cheap as one, if one don't eat."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1813
<1min
One-liner #0351
"Vacation is a two-week-long experience where money and time race against each other until both are totally exhausted."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1837
<1min
One-liner #0352
"Visa is everywhere you want to be except out of debt."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1768
<1min
One-liner #0353
"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1906
<1min
One-liner #0354
"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what can you believe?"- Bullwinkle J. Moose
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1786
<1min
One-liner #0355
"We've come so far that community service is considered punishment."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1876
<1min
One-liner #0356
"What do you call an accordionist with a beeper? An optimist."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1899
<1min
One-liner #0357
"What makes airport security think they can find something in my wife's purse when she can't?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1881
<1min
One-liner #0358
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."~Mark Twain
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1859
<1min
One-liner #0359
"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."~Charlotte Whitton
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1961
<1min
One-liner #0360
"What's another word for synonym?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1801
<1min
One-liner #0361
"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."~Henny Youngman
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1886
<1min
One-liner #0362
"What's the use of having ignorance if you can't show it?"- Lou Costello
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1897
<1min
One-liner #0363
"When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1889
<1min
One-liner #0364
"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."
read more..
Results 931 - 960 of 1778