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July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1827
<1min
One-liner #0365
"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship."- Dick Gregory
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1762
<1min
One-liner #0366
"When I think of all the people I respect the most, you're right there - serving them drinks."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1809
<1min
One-liner #0367
"When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me - according to the letter."- Emo Philips
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1815
<1min
One-liner #0368
"When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1904
<1min
One-liner #0369
"When the space shuttle finally lands, everybody wear ape suits.... pass it on!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1817
<1min
One-liner #0370
"When will all the rhetorical questions end?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1903
<1min
One-liner #0371
"When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1880
<1min
One-liner #0372
"When you're over 50 you can still do all the things you did when you were 17 if you don't mind making an idiot of yourself."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1895
<1min
One-liner #0373
"Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR" - what's my mother going to do."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1914
<1min
One-liner #0374
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not the color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."- Jerry Seinfeld
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1854
<1min
One-liner #0375
"Who says nothing is impossible - I've been doing nothing for years."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1862
<1min
One-liner #0376
"Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question has never worked in customer service."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1987
<1min
One-liner #0377
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."~Gene Hill
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1925
<1min
One-liner #0378
"Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1927
<1min
One-liner #0379
"Why are you driving me crazy when you know it's within walking distance?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2079
<1min
One-liner #0380
"Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? "
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1806
<1min
One-liner #0381
"Why do they call it a drop cloth when the paint usually drops where the cloth ISN'T?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1890
<1min
One-liner #0382
"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid that someone will clean them?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1895
<1min
One-liner #0383
"Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1963
<1min
One-liner #0384
"Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1928
<1min
One-liner #0385
"Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2046
<1min
One-liner #0386
"Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1984
<1min
One-liner #0387
"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1993
<1min
One-liner #0388
"With high-definition TV everything looks bigger and wider - kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1866
<1min
One-liner #0389
"With sufficient thrust pigs fly just fine."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1965
<1min
One-liner #0390
"Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1853
<1min
One-liner #0391
"You are not a kid anymore when you are obsessed with the thermostat."- Jeff Foxworthy
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1904
<1min
One-liner #0392
"You are not a kid anymore when you are obsessed with the thermostat."~Jeff Foxworthy
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1918
<1min
One-liner #0393
"You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1913
<1min
One-liner #0394
"You can train a cat to do anything it wants to do."
read more..
Results 961 - 990 of 1778