Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Gladys Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
9658
<1min

Gladys Pun

There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy l... read more..
Gland Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
7643
<1min

Gland Pun

Little is known about the salivary glands because they are so secretive.... read more..
Goat Junk
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2569
<1min

Goat Junk

Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time bent over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over. "So, did you enjoy the f... read more..
Golden Years
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2404
<1min

Golden Years

"Ah, the golden years. When actions creak louder than words." read more..
Golf Gun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2281
<1min

Golf Gun

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez."How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I do... read more..
Golf Tomatoes
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2472
<1min

Golf Tomatoes

"I don't want to say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced." read more..
Gone Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4741
<1min

Gone Pun

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?", he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton." The next day, the collector t... read more..
Gossip
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6055
<1min

Gossip

A gossip is someone with a great "sense of rumor."... read more..
Grade Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2833
<1min

Grade Pun

A high-school student came home one night rather depressed."What's the matter, son," asked his mother."Aw, Mom," said the boy, "It's my grades. They're all wet.""What do you mean 'all wet?'""You know,... read more..
Grapes
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2286
<1min

Grapes

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.... read more..
Gravity
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2308
<1min

Gravity

Gravity always gets me down.... read more..
Grenade
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5433
<1min

Grenade

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France resulted in "Linoleum Blownapart."... read more..
Grizzly Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2603
<1min

Grizzly Pun

One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mo... read more..
Grocery Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2545
<1min

Grocery Pun

Grocery clerks make you pick paper or plastic because baggers can't be choosers.... read more..
Gross Ignoramus
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2450
<1min

Gross Ignoramus

A gross ignoramus: 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.... read more..
Guide Names
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3350
<1min

Guide Names

My husband was telling colleagues about his involvement with our local YMCA Indian Guides and Indian Princesses programs. His Indian name was Walking Deer, he told them. Our daughter was Little Fawn, ... read more..
Hair Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2722
<1min

Hair Pun

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.... read more..
Hamlet
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3085
<1min

Hamlet

"Said Hamlet to Ophelia,'I'll draw a sketch of thee,What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?'"'Hamlet' by Spike Milligan read more..
Happy as a Clam
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6367
<1min

Happy as a Clam

Then there is researcher Peter Fong, who has given new meaning to the expression "happy as a clam." The Gettysburg College biologist stumbled onto the fact that molluscs reproduce at 10 times their no... read more..
Happy Cows
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2575
<1min

Happy Cows

Farmer Jones's cows had recently stopped giving good milk. So, he went around asking for advice, and someone told him that happy cows give good milk. Every morning he would go out and tell some jokes ... read more..
Hay Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
20226
<1min

Hay Pun

Needless to say, one of the most successful inventors of all time was the man who invented the hay-bailing machine. He made a bundle.... read more..
He/She Became
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3133
<1min

He/She Became

He became a realtor because he had lots on his mind.She became a pharmacist because she was a real pill.He became an expolorer because he wanted to find himself.She became a baker because she loved lo... read more..
Headache Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
10028
<1min

Headache Pun

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children.... read more..
Hellman's Mayo
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6615
<1min

Hellman's Mayo

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery on May 5th in Vera Cr... read more..
Hereafter
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2498
<1min

Hereafter

"These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after." read more..
Heredity
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4788
<1min

Heredity

"The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose and his mother's mouth. Which left his mother with a pretty blank expression."- Robert Benchley read more..
High School Math
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2532
<1min

High School Math

A student at our high school a few years back, having had his fill with drawing graph after graph in senior high math class, told his teacher, "I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, and I'll even do statisti... read more..
HMO Plans
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2352
<1min

HMO Plans

"The majority of HMO plans I've seen can be likened to hospital gowns-- you only think you're covered." read more..
Hobby Books
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2210
<1min

Hobby Books

BAND PLAYING by Clara NettJAZZ MUSIC by Tenna SaxeCUDDLY TOYS by Ted E. BehrTHE STARS TELL IT ALL by Horace CopeSCULPTING THE GODS OF GREECE AND ROME by Jove... read more..
Holiday Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3285
<1min

Holiday Pun

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while late... read more..
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