Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
King Ozymndias
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2432
<1min

King Ozymndias

King Ozymndias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Despera... read more..
Knowledge Pills
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3432
<1min

Knowledge Pills

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pha... read more..
Koala Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
8127
2 min read

Koala Pun

A man had been feeling unwell for about 3 weeks and went to see his doctor.The doctor told him, "I don't know what you've got but it could be serious so I'm sending you to the Rare Disease Specialist.... read more..
Lab Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2825
<1min

Lab Pun

Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!... read more..
Labor
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2345
<1min

Labor

My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! CAN'T!""Doctor, what's wrong with my wife!" I cried."It's per... read more..
Lancelot Bed Attire
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2508
<1min

Lancelot Bed Attire

What did Sir Lancelot wear to bed?A knight-gown.... read more..
Laneway Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4411
<1min

Laneway Pun

I hate the speed bump in the laneway of my complex. But I just get over it and move on.... read more..
Latin Puns
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
15682
<1min

Latin Puns

"Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."(A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.)"Domino vobiscum."(The pizza guy's here.)"Sharpei diem."(Sei read more..
Lawyer Picture
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2393
<1min

Lawyer Picture

A photographer was hired to take pictures at a lawyers' convention.When he lined up his subjects he got them to look their best by shouting, "Okay everyone, say fees!"... read more..
Leading
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2226
<1min

Leading

"You can lead a horse to water, but, a pencil must be lead."- Stan Laurel in the short, "BRATS" read more..
Leaning Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6735
<1min

Leaning Pun

Bert has this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother him, so he suggested his buddy Louie should see a doctor, and have his legs checked out.For years, L... read more..
Leg Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
14263
<1min

Leg Pun

A man goes into the doctor. He says "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to ... read more..
Legal Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3644
<1min

Legal Pun

A man went to his lawyer and said, "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer said, "No problem, leave it all to me." The man looked somewhat upset and said,... read more..
Letter Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6555
<1min

Letter Pun

Beware of the letter G. It is the end of everything.... read more..
Light Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2566
<1min

Light Pun

(BTW, Saturday's Park Pun was written by Stan Kegel.)A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as t read more..
Lightning Driving
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3250
<1min

Lightning Driving

Two men were talking. One says to the other, "My wife drives like lightning."His friend asked, "She drives fast?""No, she hits trees."... read more..
Lion Hunting
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2285
<1min

Lion Hunting

Before they go out hunting for food, the lion says to his friends, "Let us prey."... read more..
Lion Pun 1
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2652
<1min

Lion Pun 1

A young missionary on his first term in Africa was reading his Bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of the bush... read more..
Lion Pun 2
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2588
<1min

Lion Pun 2

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lio... read more..
Little Known Illnesses
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2587
<1min

Little Known Illnesses

AFROPHOBIA: Fear of the return of the 70's hair styles.DEJA FLU: The feeling that one has had this cold before.HYPOCOINDRIA: Fear of not having correct change.HAIRPIECE SWIMPLEX: Rash caused by wearin... read more..
Lobster
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
14541
<1min

Lobster

A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each."Amazed at the great value, he said to th... read more..
Lobster Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
15080
<1min

Lobster Pun

A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each." Amazed at the great value, he said to t... read more..
Locksmith
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5607
<1min

Locksmith

They tried to keep a locksmith in prison, but the nut bolted.... read more..
Loosing Weight
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2479
<1min

Loosing Weight

Two overweight middle-aged women are on their daily exercise stroll. They were talking about how hard it is to lose weight as one gets older, something with which all you youths must deal eventually.O... read more..
Lost Envelope
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2246
<1min

Lost Envelope

Young Mary was a dutiful child. She obeyed every rule and never once contradicted the commands that were issued daily to govern her life.One day, when her aunt was bedridden with the flu, Mary was giv... read more..
Lost Jewelry
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2266
<1min

Lost Jewelry

What do you call jewelry lost on the golf course?A diamond in the rough.... read more..
Lot Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2410
<1min

Lot Pun

The Hebrew school teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little David interrupted."My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING," he announced triu... read more..
Love Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2527
<1min

Love Pun

"It's better to have loved and lost a short person than never to have loveda tall." - David Chambless read more..
Lumber Need
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2235
<1min

Lumber Need

Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"The man said, "I'll go... read more..
Madness
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2299
<1min

Madness

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.... read more..
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