Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Magazines
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2293
<1min

Magazines

"I only get Newsweek and People," said Tom timelessly. read more..
Magna Carta Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5805
<1min

Magna Carta Pun

A tour bus load full of noisy tourists arrives at Runnymede, England.They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta."A man pushing h... read more..
Make-Up
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2285
<1min

Make-Up

Applying mascara in a car can cause whipped lashes.... read more..
Mall Musician
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2456
<1min

Mall Musician

A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?” I don’t have one,” confessed the musician. “I... read more..
Manger Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3199
<1min

Manger Pun

Along with the three wise men, the shepherds, and the others who showed up at the manger, there was also a fellow on a white charger, wearing a suit of armor. But he didn't have as good a publicity ag... read more..
Many Foots
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2566
<1min

Many Foots

Once upon a time there were three little bunny rabbits, Foot, Foot-Foot, and Foot-Foot-Foot, and they were outside playing. All of a sudden, Foot grabs his head and says, "I'm really sick. I think I'm... read more..
Marathon Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
8840
<1min

Marathon Pun

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.... read more..
Mari's Voice
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3437
<1min

Mari's Voice

My friend Mari has a screechy voice that makes people queasy to hear it. The other day she came over for dinner. I served squid. After dinner she went out on the terrace and, observing a gorgeous suns... read more..
Marriage Benefit
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2534
<1min

Marriage Benefit

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.... read more..
Marriage Match
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3662
<1min

Marriage Match

Did you hear about the manicurist and dentist who got married?They fought tooth and nail.... read more..
Marriage Pun 1
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2438
<1min

Marriage Pun 1

Suppose a snake and an undertaker were wed.Would their towels read "Hiss" and "Hearse"?... read more..
Marriage Pun 2
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2695
<1min

Marriage Pun 2

Their marriage was going O.K. until they bought a water bed, then they started drifting apart.... read more..
Marx Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4080
<1min

Marx Pun

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?... read more..
Mary Poppins Room Service
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2414
2 min read

Mary Poppins Room Service

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night."Certainly, madam," he replied courteo... read more..
Mask Pun 1
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6035
<1min

Mask Pun 1

My son-in-law Matt has a great-looking Darth Vader mask. One year at Halloween, a friend asked if he could borrow it. Matt agreed, and on Halloween night, his friend came by to pick it up. Matt was su... read more..
Mass Pun 2
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2305
<1min

Mass Pun 2

"Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on a Catholic." read more..
Masseur Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2623
<1min

Masseur Pun

Paul was a passionate masseur. For years he pounded, stretched, pulled and relaxed the most burdened, stressed, bent-out-of-shape bodies. Then late one day, rather unexpectedly, he was fired. Apparent... read more..
Math Pun 2
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2404
<1min

Math Pun 2

You may remember a rock band from the 80's that was called Linear.They were originally going to call themselves The Quadratics, but they didn't want people thinking they were squares.... read more..
Math Pun 3
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2442
2 min read

Math Pun 3

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a sli... read more..
Math Pun 4
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2713
<1min

Math Pun 4

Mrs. Johnson the elementary school math teacher was having children do problems on the blackboard that day. "Who would like to do the first problem, addition?" No one raised their hand. She called on ... read more..
Maytag
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3135
<1min

Maytag

Maytag is my middle name; I'm an agitator.... read more..
Meanderthals
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2635
<1min

Meanderthals

MEANDERTHALS /me-AN-dur-thols/noun: aimless, slow-walking pedestrians who mindlessly get in everyone else's way on sidewalks, stores, in malls, and crosswalks, often while preoccupied with a cell phon... read more..
Measurements
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2369
<1min

Measurements

“People who want by the yard, but try by the inch, should be kicked by the foot!”... read more..
Meat Bet
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2617
<1min

Meat Bet

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.He said, "No, the steaks are too high."... read more..
Mechanic
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4566
<1min

Mechanic

The helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Scottish island and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily, the pilot saw a small cottage nearby. He walked to it and knocked on the door... read more..
Medical Definitions
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3553
<1min

Medical Definitions

ANTIBODY - against everyoneBENIGN - what you be after you be eightBOWEL - letters like a,e,i,o,uCAESARIAN SECTION - a district in RomeCAT SCAN - searching for lost kittyCHRONIC - neck of a crowCOMA - ... read more..
Meditation Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
8675
<1min

Meditation Pun

"Meditation is not what you think." read more..
Memory Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
13001
<1min

Memory Pun

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.... read more..
Merger Puns
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5520
<1min

Merger Puns

Merger ManiaA number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called Fairwell Honeychild.There is a me... read more..
Meritrix
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2581
<1min

Meritrix

Once Horace Gold [my editor] went too far. He rejected a story of mine which he called "meretricious." The word is from the Latin meretrix, meaning "prostitute," so that the implication was that I was... read more..
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