Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Needle Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6136
<1min

Needle Pun

Acupuncture is a jab well done.... read more..
New Girlfriend
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2417
<1min

New Girlfriend

"So, how are you getting along with your gorgeous new girlfriend?" "Not so good. I asked her whether she could learn to love me." "Yeah -- and?" "She asked how much I was willing to spend on her ed read more..
New Minister
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2694
<1min

New Minister

A church was looking for a new minister, and the selection committee finally recommended a young man just out of the seminary. Many older church members protested that a more experienced man would hav... read more..
New Sanctuary
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2161
<1min

New Sanctuary

A local church built a new sanctuary. They moved their very fine old pipe organ from to the new sanctuary.It was an intricate task that was completed successfully. The local news heralded, "St. Paul C... read more..
New Wing
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2683
<1min

New Wing

Recently, when a Panel of Doctors at our local hospital was asked to vote on adding a new wing, this is what happened....The allergists voted to scratch it..The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.... read more..
Newlywed Bread
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4254
<1min

Newlywed Bread

Young husband: "Why can't you make bread like my mother does?" Young bride: "Why can't you make dough like my father does?"  ... read more..
Nitrates
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3537
<1min

Nitrates

Did you hear about the goober who thought nitrates were cheaper than day rates?... read more..
No Eve
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3504
<1min

No Eve

"No, Eve, I won't touch that apple," said Tom adamantly.- Richard Lederer read more..
Noah's Snakes
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2568
<1min

Noah's Snakes

Noah opens up the ark and let all the animals out, telling them to "Go forth and multiply!"He's closing the great doors of the ark when he notices that there are two snakes sitting in a dark corner.So... read more..
Notary Public
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5300
<1min

Notary Public

Fellow employees at the international company where I work know I'm a notary public and have me certify personal documents.One day, two Swedish men asked me to witness signatures on an automobile titl... read more..
Note Reading
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2715
<1min

Note Reading

Jack: "Hey, Bill! Check out this cute note Aunt Pat put in my present! "Bill: (Glancing at note) "I can't read this; I'm presbyopic. "Jack: "Come to my church! They let us read anything!"... read more..
Number Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2327
<1min

Number Pun

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.... read more..
Nun Dye
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4983
<1min

Nun Dye

Donations to the order were down and the convent did not have the funds to continue in their usual manner. Rather than shutting down, Mother Superior ordered an austerity program requiring recycling o... read more..
Nun Pun 1
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2954
<1min

Nun Pun 1

What do you call a sleep-walking nun? A Roamin' Catholic... read more..
Nun Pun 2
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2820
<1min

Nun Pun 2

Several Nuns were in there second floor convent one night when a fire broke out. The Nuns took their habits and tied them together to make a rope to get out of the building via the window. After th... read more..
Nun Shopping
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5334
<1min

Nun Shopping

The convent had been presented with a new car, a red Mini Metro, the pride of its breed. Sister Lourdes, the only qualified driver, became the chauffer for all and sundry. Every Saturday she would dri... read more..
Nut Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
19674
<1min

Nut Pun

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afterno... read more..
Nut Sign
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2490
<1min

Nut Sign

Sign in a nut shop: "No credit cards here. Strictly cashew and carry."... read more..
Offering Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2944
<1min

Offering Pun

There are more churches in Las Vegas than Casinos. During Sunday services at the Offertory, some worshipers contribute Casino Chips as opposed to cash. Some are sharing their winnings - some are hopin... read more..
Old Lawyers
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2485
<1min

Old Lawyers

Old lawyers never die. They just lose their appeal.... read more..
Old West Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
9132
<1min

Old West Pun

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."... read more..
Olympic Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
7513
<1min

Olympic Pun

At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole."Are you a pole vaulter?""No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"... read more..
One and Two Yards
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2744
<1min

One and Two Yards

The difference between one yard and two yards is usually a fence.... read more..
Onion Mishap
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2903
<1min

Onion Mishap

Don't panic but I'm in hospital. I have poisoned myself. I ate what I thought was an onion it, turned out it was a daffodil bulb.Doctor says I'll be out in the spring!... read more..
Optometrist's Sign
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2530
<1min

Optometrist's Sign

See on a sign at an Optometrist's Office:"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."... read more..
Origin Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2537
<1min

Origin Pun

One day an ape escaped from the Bronx Zoo. They searched for him everywhere, in every borough. They announced his disappearance on the radio and television as well as the newspapers. But, no one repor... read more..
Oval Office
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3576
<1min

Oval Office

One day, the president of the United States was sitting in the Oval Office reading a newspaper to catch on that day's current events. All of a sudden, one of his secret service men burst through the d... read more..
Owl Lesson
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2883
<1min

Owl Lesson

A first grade class teacher, for the "Natural World" section of her class, had a lesson about owls.She explained to the class about how they are nocturnal, how they can swivel their heads so far in ei... read more..
Oy!
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2606
<1min

Oy!

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?He walks around saying, "Yo."... read more..
Paint Tin Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3565
<1min

Paint Tin Pun

Man works in a hardware store, and all of a sudden one day, a whole lot of tins of paint fall on him.Of course, he's whisked off to hospital where they manage to clean him up physically, but mentally ... read more..
Results 1591 - 1620 of 3574