Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4175
<1min

Returned Glasses

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?" "I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husban... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2945
<1min

Richard

Years ago there was a baker's assistant whose sole job was to pour the dough mixture for making sausage rolls (apparently the royal family loved sausage). Because people were identified by their profe... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2710
<1min

Right Pun

He's a forthright character: Right about a forth of the time.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
7927
<1min

Robbery Pun

Once some burglars broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun to the cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY." T... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
11890
<1min

Robin Hood Pun

Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest one night celebrating, and imbibing. They all became inebriated. And then Friar Tuck began to sing. He became louder with each drink. Robin Hood, f... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
20537
<1min

Rock and Roll Pun

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars. I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3158
<1min

Rock and Roll Re-Releases

Everybody is remaking their oldies hits! - Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker" - The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip" - The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone" ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2747
<1min

Rock Star Finder

The best way to find a screeching rock star is with a Heavy Metal Detector.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2416
<1min

Rock Store

A rock store was closed by the police. They were taking too much for granite.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
18771
<1min

Rodeo Pun

A young cowboy asked his father, "Do you think I can make a good living riding wild horses in a rodeo?" His dad replied, "You should get a couple of bucks out of it."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3569
<1min

Rolex and Timex

A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Wh... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2579
<1min

Room Question

My friend Judy was working at a Maine costal resort when she answered a call for information about the inn. After finishing the conversation, Judy stepped away from the desk. When the phone rang again... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4982
<1min

Rottweiler Pun

Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled and blessed 2004. Here is today's CleanPun. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2802
<1min

Russian Pun

I've done a little searching in FBI files under the Freedom of Information Act. Turns out a few years ago, the Russians were looking to save money, as paying soldiers was getting to be a real dilemma.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
7353
<1min

Ruth

Ruth rode upon my motor bike, directly back of me. I hit a bump at 95, and rode on Ruthlessly.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2636
<1min

Safety 1

Don't learn safety rules by accident.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2256
<1min

Safety 2

While the driver is safer when the road is dry, the road is safer when the driver is dry.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
14639
<1min

Safety Pun 1

While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise. One evening as th... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4888
<1min

Safety Pun 2

Safety is something a lot of people learn by accident.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2543
<1min

Safety Pun 3

We childproofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6039
<1min

Sailor Pun

Who was the smallest man in history? The sailor who went to sleep on his watch.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2648
<1min

Saint Andreas

Blame Saint Andreas. Its all his fault.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2371
<1min

Sandwich

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2607
<1min

School Books

“Walking To School The First Day Back” by Misty Bus “The Day the Car Pool Forgot Me” by I. Rhoda Bike “Can't See The Chalkboard” by Sidney Backrow “Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School”... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3271
<1min

Scientist Escape

A scientist, unjustly accused and convicted of a major crime, found himself sentenced to hard time in a prison out in the Arizona desert. His cellmate turned out to be another scientist. Determined to... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6120
<1min

Scout Fix

A scoutmaster and his wife were driving along a rural highway when they found the road blocked by a herd of cows that had escaped through a broken fence. The scoutmaster tried beeping his horn to scar... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2327
<1min

Season Pun

Relief: What a tree does in the spring.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2436
<1min

Seat Warmers

Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury. "I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth wondered. "It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner's manual... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3062
<1min

Seder Pun

A group of medical researchers have published data indicating that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and Charoses. It seems that this combination can lead to Charoses of the ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2172
<1min

Seder Pun 2

At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh fortified with Metamucil. The brand name is..."Let my people go."... read more..