Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Visa Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6270
<1min

Visa Pun

A business man called a travel agent and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, the travel agent reminded him he needed a vi... read more..
Vision Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
10543
<1min

Vision Pun

My grandson, Chris, has worn glasses since the age of three. When he was in the first grade he came home one day very distressed. Wanting to find out what was the matter, his mother asked, "Chris, wha... read more..
Votes
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2356
<1min

Votes

"In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes." read more..
Waiter Feedback
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2483
<1min

Waiter Feedback

The diner was furious when his steak arrived too rare. "Waiter," he barked, "didn't you hear me say 'well done'? "I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."... read more..
Waiting Room Books
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2433
<1min

Waiting Room Books

HOW TO MAKE A TOURNIQUET by Hank R. Schiff HANDLING YOUR EMOTIONS by Mel. N. Collie CALM DOWN by Ed. G. Nerves KNOCKING YOUR FUNNY BONE by Howard Hertz... read more..
Walking Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
10643
2 min read

Walking Pun

Timmy was a little five year old boy that his Mom loved very much and, being a worrier, she was concerned about him walking to school when he started Kindergarten. She walked him to school the couple ... read more..
Wallet Return
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3235
2 min read

Wallet Return

An extremely red-faced man stormed into the tiny shop on the corner of Lingot and Main. Pushing his way past the assorted browsers, he bore down on the sales counter like a Scud missile. The lone cler... read more..
Want That Cart?
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3578
<1min

Want That Cart?

A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?" "No," he answered. "I'm only after one thing." As he walked t... read more..
Watched Clock
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6766
<1min

Watched Clock

A watched clock never boils.... read more..
Waxing or Waning
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4252
<1min

Waxing or Waning

Out on a walk with my new girlfriend last night, only a small sliver of the moon was visible in the sky. She turned to me and asked, "Is it waxing or waning?" I had no idea what to answer, but wanting... read more..
Weapons Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4167
<1min

Weapons Pun

News reports have filtered out early this morning that US forces have swooped on an Iraqi primary school and detained teacher Mohammed Al-Hazar. Sources indicate that, when arrested, Al-Hazar was in p... read more..
Wedding
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2612
<1min

Wedding

Selma and Irving receive an invitation in the mail. Since it was many years since they were invited anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that they were asked to attend a wedding. All was fin... read more..
Wedding Pun 1
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2776
<1min

Wedding Pun 1

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the cro... read more..
Wedding Pun 2
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3824
<1min

Wedding Pun 2

During the weeks before Jill's wedding, she was terribly anxious about making some mistakes at the ceremony. The minister reassured her several times, pointing out that the service was not difficult a... read more..
Wedding Pun 3
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2353
<1min

Wedding Pun 3

My friend Cindy was walking up Third Avenue in Manhattan thinking about her impending wedding. Strung across the street in midtown was a large protest banner. When she arrived home, she said to her fi... read more..
Wedding Pun 4
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2719
<1min

Wedding Pun 4

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.... read more..
Wedding Ring 5
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2394
<1min

Wedding Ring 5

"A wedding ring is like a tourniquet -- it cuts off your circulation!" read more..
Weddings
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2799
<1min

Weddings

"When you walk down the aisle don't look grim." Said the preacher. "We'll then sing a hymn. When I stand by the alter The groom must not falter." "Ahh yes," said the bride, "Aisle, alter, hymn." - Gil read more..
Weevil Pun 1
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2626
<1min

Weevil Pun 1

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became ... read more..
Weight Pun 2
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4352
<1min

Weight Pun 2

Realizing that I'd put on a pound or two, I lamented to my husband, "I'm fat." And right on cue he said what all good husbands must: "You're not fat." To support his position, he added, "Just look aro... read more..
Weight Room
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3454
<1min

Weight Room

A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck. Finally, I thought I had found one. I asked... read more..
Western Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6823
<1min

Western Pun

Line from an old Western: Get off the cook stove,grandpa, you're too old to ride the range.... read more..
Wet Grades
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2416
<1min

Wet Grades

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed. "What's the matter, son," asked his mother. The boy says, "It's my grades. They're all wet." "What do you mean `all wet?'" "I mean... read more..
What's V
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2406
<1min

What's V

One of the basic equations of physics is e = hv, where v is the Greek letter 'nu' (pronounced new). This can be written v = e/h. If one physicist were to ask another, "What's new?" the other might ans... read more..
Where Professionals Go on Vacation
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3685
<1min

Where Professionals Go on Vacation

Where Professionals Go On Vacation Artists: Painted Desert, Arizona Athletes: Olympia Heights, Florida Candy Makers: Carmel, Indiana College Professors: University City, Missouri Ecologists: Green Bay... read more..
Wills
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5185
<1min

Wills

A person's last will and testament is a dead giveaway.... read more..
Windex
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6936
<1min

Windex

I haven't checked snopes.com to see if this actually works or not . . . But they say that if you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked, you should sniff some Windex first. It'll keep you from s... read more..
Window Pun 2
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3316
<1min

Window Pun 2

A preacher was called upon to substitute for the regular minister, who had failed to reach the church because he was delayed in a snowstorm. The speaker began by explaining the meaning of substitute. ... read more..
Wine Ad Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2848
<1min

Wine Ad Pun

In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-... read more..
Winner Pun
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2813
<1min

Winner Pun

A guy entered a contest and ended up winning a few acres of swampland in the Mississippi flood plain. He'd never won anything before - he couldn't believe it! So he entered another contest and won a $... read more..
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