Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1807
<1min

One-liner #0021

"Actually if ya think about it, you really don't need a whole lot of manners if you're driving a 35 ton truck." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1770
<1min

One-liner #0022

"After years of uneventfully ordering a side of bacon with breakfast, you can image my surprise at the side of beef I ordered last night for dinner."- Scott E. Frank read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1785
<1min

One-liner #0023

"All good One-liners are one character too lon" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1762
<1min

One-liner #0024

"All the world loves a lover - except people who are waiting to use the phone."- Milton Berle read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1806
<1min

One-liner #0025

"Always keep several get well cards on the mantle - if unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1765
<1min

One-liner #0026

"Amazing - you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1907
<1min

One-liner #0027

"Among the English language's many puzzling words is 'economy' which means the large size in toothpaste and the small size in automobiles." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1904
<1min

One-liner #0028

"An employer is someone who is late when you're early and early when you're late." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1877
<1min

One-liner #0029

"Anarchy is better than no government at all." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1819
<1min

One-liner #0030

"Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone - that's actually what caused many of their deaths ... pillow fights." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1852
<1min

One-liner #0031

"Anytime you have a 50/50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
2103
<1min

One-liner #0032

"Are there any side effects to these pills apart from bankruptcy?" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1998
<1min

One-liner #0033

"Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1826
<1min

One-liner #0034

"As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn't let me play with." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1769
<1min

One-liner #0035

"As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1763
<1min

One-liner #0036

"As a teenager you are in the last stage of life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."~Fran Lebowitz read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1794
<1min

One-liner #0037

"As I said before, I never repeat myself." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1889
<1min

One-liner #0038

"Ask me about my vow of silence." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1918
<1min

One-liner #0039

"Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1809
<1min

One-liner #0040

"At my age, forget all the health food; I need all the preservatives I can get!" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1842
<1min

One-liner #0041

"At my age, I can't see the forest OR the trees." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1863
<1min

One-liner #0042

"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1848
<1min

One-liner #0043

"At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
2013
<1min

One-liner #0044

"Ba-dee, ba-dee, ba-dee . . . . .that's all folks."- Porky Pig read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1830
<1min

One-liner #0045

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."~ Mark Twain read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1761
<1min

One-liner #0046

"Be different; Conform." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1857
<1min

One-liner #0047

"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."~Will Rogers read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1783
<1min

One-liner #0048

"Before resolving to jog five miles a day, visit a cardiologist to have your heart examined, a podiatrist to have your feet examined and a psychiatrist to have your head examined. " read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1893
<1min

One-liner #0049

"Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1814
<1min

One-liner #0050

"Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers." read more..