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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2098
<1min
One-liner #0082
"Due to the shape of the North American Elk's esophagus, even if it could speak, it could not pronounce the word lasagna."- Cliff Clavin, Cheers
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1867
<1min
One-liner #0083
"Each year a healthy adult male consumes one and one-half times his weight in other peoples patience." ~John Updike
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1703
<1min
One-liner #0084
"Eschew obfuscation."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1901
<1min
One-liner #0085
"Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2187
<1min
One-liner #0086
"Every silver lining has a cloud."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1879
<1min
One-liner #0087
"Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1826
<1min
One-liner #0088
"Everything can be filed under 'miscellaneous.'"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1891
<1min
One-liner #0089
"For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1809
<1min
One-liner #0090
"Forget about world peace...visualize using your turn signal!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1813
<1min
One-liner #0091
"Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1899
<1min
One-liner #0092
"Gas prices are so high that when this college girl pulled into a gas station and asked for 2 dollar's worth, the attendant dabbed some behind her ears."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1869
<1min
One-liner #0093
"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and get rid of him for the day!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1853
<1min
One-liner #0094
"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.; give a man a stick of dynamite and soon the whole village will be strewn with mud, seaweed, and unidentifiable chunks of fish."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1915
<1min
One-liner #0095
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1855
<1min
One-liner #0096
"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1877
<1min
One-liner #0097
"Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1899
<1min
One-liner #0098
"Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool - her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1886
<1min
One-liner #0099
"Grass grows in direct proportion to your unwillingness to mow it."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1917
<1min
One-liner #0100
"Happiness can't buy money."- Bob Hope
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1914
<1min
One-liner #0101
"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked."- Jeff Pesis
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1841
<1min
One-liner #0102
"Have a nice day...someplace else!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1783
<1min
One-liner #0103
"Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1827
<1min
One-liner #0104
"Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1776
<1min
One-liner #0105
"His eye is on the sparrow--and on the turkey, too!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1886
<1min
One-liner #0106
"Honk if you love Jesus! Text while driving if you want to meet Him."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1864
<1min
One-liner #0107
"Hors D'oeuvres - A sandwich cut into 20 pieces."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1797
<1min
One-liner #0108
"How do a fool and his money get together?"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1857
<1min
One-liner #0109
"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"- Satchel Paige
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1840
<1min
One-liner #0110
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."~ Bill Cosby
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1739
<1min
One-liner #0111
"Hypochondriacs are sick."
read more..
Results 1981 - 2010 of 3574