Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liner #0142
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1961
<1min

One-liner #0142

"I said LUNCH not LAUNCH!!!!" read more..
One-liner #0143
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1910
<1min

One-liner #0143

"I stayed in a really old hotel last night - they sent me a wake-up letter." read more..
One-liner #0144
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2061
<1min

One-liner #0144

"I take music pretty seriously. This scar on my wrist, do you know what that's from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again."- Dennis Leary read more..
One-liner #0145
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1903
<1min

One-liner #0145

"I think that someone must have surveillance equipment set up in my living room, because every once in a while, someone on the TV will tell me what channel I'm watching and that really freaks me out, read more..
One-liner #0146
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2112
<1min

One-liner #0146

"I think there is insanity in my family - they keep asking me for money." read more..
One-liner #0147
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2132
<1min

One-liner #0147

"I thought about taking up snowboarding, but then I figured, why not just ram myself into a tree and save that long trip to the mountains." read more..
One-liner #0148
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1913
<1min

One-liner #0148

"I took my parents back to the airport today. They're flying home tomorrow."~ Margaret Smith read more..
One-liner #0149
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1874
<1min

One-liner #0149

I try to sell insurance to every telemarketer that calls me. My insurance company is Calvary Trust.... read more..
One-liner #0150
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1978
<1min

One-liner #0150

"I use my cookbook often -- to throw at people who suggest I cook. " read more..
One-liner #0151
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1944
<1min

One-liner #0151

"I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes." read more..
One-liner #0152
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1995
<1min

One-liner #0152

"I used to have a handle on life, but it broke." read more..
One-liner #0153
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1985
<1min

One-liner #0153

"I used to watch golf on TV but my doctor told me that I need more exercise, so now I watch tennis." read more..
One-liner #0154
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1946
<1min

One-liner #0154

"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory - you couldn't park anywhere near the place." read more..
One-liner #0155
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2042
<1min

One-liner #0155

"I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I Called In Dead." read more..
One-liner #0156
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1974
<1min

One-liner #0156

"I want instant gratification no matter how long it takes." read more..
One-liner #0157
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2018
<1min

One-liner #0157

"I want my children to have all the things I never could afford - then I want to move in with them." read more..
One-liner #0158
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1879
<1min

One-liner #0158

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."~Groucho Marx read more..
One-liner #0159
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1898
<1min

One-liner #0159

"I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on, but I can't afford one so ... I'm wearing my garage door opener." read more..
One-liner #0160
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1797
<1min

One-liner #0160

"I went to see Pavarotti once and I'll tell you this much, he doesn't like it when you join in." read more..
One-liner #0161
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2489
<1min

One-liner #0161

"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you." read more..
One-liner #0162
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1945
<1min

One-liner #0162

"I worry we are spending so much time on the Internet we are losing our ability to connect with people on TV."~@toddieC read more..
One-liner #0163
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2013
<1min

One-liner #0163

"Ideas are great provided they don't degenerate into work." read more..
One-liner #0164
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2044
<1min

One-liner #0164

"If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration then evidentially I keep sharing elevators with a lot of very intelligent people." read more..
One-liner #0165
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2069
<1min

One-liner #0165

"If God intended us to eat seafood, why did He hide them underwater?"- Ed Penland read more..
One-liner #0166
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2084
<1min

One-liner #0166

"If houseplants ever take over the world, I'm probably going to be sitting in shackles at their version of the Nuremberg trials."- Tim H. Richweis read more..
One-liner #0167
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1995
<1min

One-liner #0167

"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?" read more..
One-liner #0168
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2090
<1min

One-liner #0168

"If it is true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why mothers cry at weddings." read more..
One-liner #0169
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2095
<1min

One-liner #0169

"If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?" read more..
One-liner #0170
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2055
<1min

One-liner #0170

"If money won't make you happy, you won't like poverty either." read more..
One-liner #0171
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2054
<1min

One-liner #0171

"If Patrick Henry thought taxation was bad without representation... he should see it with!" read more..
Results 2041 - 2070 of 3574