Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liner #0172
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2020
<1min

One-liner #0172

"If truth is beauty, how come no one gets their hair done in the library?"- Lily Tomlin read more..
One-liner #0173
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1896
<1min

One-liner #0173

"If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?" read more..
One-liner #0174
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1866
<1min

One-liner #0174

"If we are to learn anything of value from Star Trek, it's that the universe is filled with vastly different styles of foreheads." - Chris Needles read more..
One-liner #0175
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1993
<1min

One-liner #0175

"If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?" read more..
One-liner #0176
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2022
<1min

One-liner #0176

"If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, press one now - if you are calling from a rotary phone, hang up and call back from a touch-tone phone." read more..
One-liner #0177
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2083
<1min

One-liner #0177

"If you are good, you will be assigned all the work - if you are really good, you will get out of it." read more..
One-liner #0178
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2001
<1min

One-liner #0178

"If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague." read more..
One-liner #0179
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2067
<1min

One-liner #0179

"If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights." read more..
One-liner #0180
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2351
<1min

One-liner #0180

"If you ever find yourself being ripped apart by a pack of wolves, try not to scream - everybody knows wolves can smell fear."- Sean Alex read more..
One-liner #0181
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1839
<1min

One-liner #0181

"If you haven't accomplished anything so far, then your best days are likely to be ahead of you - but then again, you should consider your track record." read more..
One-liner #0182
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1887
<1min

One-liner #0182

"If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker?" read more..
One-liner #0183
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1714
<1min

One-liner #0183

"If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip." read more..
One-liner #0184
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1727
<1min

One-liner #0184

"If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen." read more..
One-liner #0185
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1909
<1min

One-liner #0185

"If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say - talk in your sleep." read more..
One-liner #0186
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1823
<1min

One-liner #0186

"If you're a cynic, everyone's corrupt - if you're an idealist, everyone's corrupt, except you." read more..
One-liner #0187
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1688
<1min

One-liner #0187

"If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money in prolonging the problem." read more..
One-liner #0188
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1640
<1min

One-liner #0188

"If you're not receiving enough attention in a store, try knocking over some very expensive antique lamps." read more..
One-liner #0189
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1772
<1min

One-liner #0189

"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."- Robert Orben read more..
One-liner #0190
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1749
<1min

One-liner #0190

"I'm a pretty patient person - just as long as I'm not kept waiting for anything." read more..
One-liner #0191
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1799
<1min

One-liner #0191

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."- Frank Lloyd Wright read more..
One-liner #0192
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1645
<1min

One-liner #0192

"I'm going to live forever, or die trying!"~Spider Robinson read more..
One-liner #0193
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1722
<1min

One-liner #0193

"I'm in great shape for a man of 65 years - it's too bad I'm only 42." read more..
One-liner #0194
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1745
<1min

One-liner #0194

"I'm nobody's fool, but am available for adoption." read more..
One-liner #0195
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1789
<1min

One-liner #0195

"I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling." read more..
One-liner #0196
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1678
<1min

One-liner #0196

"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."- Woody Allen read more..
One-liner #0197
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1766
<1min

One-liner #0197

"I'm sorry. Am I driving too close in front of you?" read more..
One-liner #0198
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1685
<1min

One-liner #0198

"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch; my grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."- Woody Allen read more..
One-liner #0199
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1600
<1min

One-liner #0199

"In Congress someone gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and then they all disagree." read more..
One-liner #0200
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1687
<1min

One-liner #0200

"In light of the economic crisis, My family extending the 5 second rule for dropped food to 10 seconds, especially in the case of blueberries."- Rick Griffin read more..
One-liner #0201
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1799
<1min

One-liner #0201

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." read more..
Results 2071 - 2100 of 3574