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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
3574
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1765
<1min
One-liner #0262
"One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1722
<1min
One-liner #0263
"One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0264
"Only one shopping day left until tomorrow."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1793
<1min
One-liner #0265
"Originality is merely undetected plagiarism."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1789
<1min
One-liner #0266
"Our goal to promote a non-threatening and productive office environment is to establish language that is gender-neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-neutral while celebrating our spirit of diversity."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1650
<1min
One-liner #0267
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."~ Groucho Marx
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
5982
<1min
One-liner #0268
"People are forever calling me a hypochondriac, and, let me tell you, thatmakes me sick." - Sandra Wilson
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1788
<1min
One-liner #0270
"People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first person to have thought of adding fresh lime juice to scalloped potatoes, try to understand that there must be
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1756
<1min
One-liner #0271
"People never grow up; they just learn how to act in public."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1815
<1min
One-liner #0272
"Philosophers always arrive at the same conclusion: I don't know."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1690
<1min
One-liner #0273
"Political-campaign speeches are like horns: a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1686
<1min
One-liner #0274
"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common - they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1653
<1min
One-liner #0275
"Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other."- Oscar Ameringer
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1668
<1min
One-liner #0276
"Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1826
<1min
One-liner #0277
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is w
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1700
<1min
One-liner #0278
"Rain is caused by big, high-pressure areas; cold fronts; warm, moist air; and the first day of your vacation."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1817
<1min
One-liner #0279
"Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1806
<1min
One-liner #0280
"Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0281
"Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1821
<1min
One-liner #0282
"Red meat is not bad for you - it's green fuzzy meat that's bad for you"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1760
<1min
One-liner #0283
"Responsibility: Something you should accept if, and only if, they have irrefutable photographic evidence."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0284
"ROME: Catholic theologians now concentrating on Problem of Evil after finally solving a Problem like Maria."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1652
<1min
One-liner #0285
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year."- Victor Borge
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1793
<1min
One-liner #0286
"Santa must be a man because no woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1767
<1min
One-liner #0287
"Save the earth - it's the only planet with chocolate."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1925
<1min
One-liner #0288
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1779
<1min
One-liner #0289
"Sign on the door of a marriage license bureau: 'Out to Lunch. Think it over.'"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1751
<1min
One-liner #0290
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1771
<1min
One-liner #0291
"Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1719
<1min
One-liner #0292
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
read more..
Results 2161 - 2190 of 3574