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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
3574
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2026 (682)
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Pastor Tim (3471)
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1941
<1min
One-liner #0415
“As soon as I get some grip on reality, I'm going to choke it.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2013
<1min
One-liner #0416
“Ask me about my vow of silence.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2187
<1min
One-liner #0417
“Be different: conform.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2038
<1min
One-liner #0418
“Before you criticize someone, make sure you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes!”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2127
<1min
One-liner #0419
“Being vague is just as bad as that other thing.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2026
<1min
One-liner #0420
“Birds of a feather flock together and aim for your car.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2043
<1min
One-liner #0421
“Birthdays are good for you ... the more you have the longer you live.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1964
<1min
One-liner #0422
“Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2061
<1min
One-liner #0423
“Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2076
<1min
One-liner #0424
“Bumper sticker on Wall Street: My other Porsche is for sale.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2084
<1min
One-liner #0425
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2067
<1min
One-liner #0426
“Computer message I'd like to see: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2040
<1min
One-liner #0427
“Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1873
<1min
One-liner #0428
“Confidence is that feeling you have just before you fully understand the situation.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1978
<1min
One-liner #0429
“Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1990
<1min
One-liner #0430
“Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1956
<1min
One-liner #0431
“Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2008
<1min
One-liner #0432
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2126
<1min
One-liner #0433
“Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2041
<1min
One-liner #0434
“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2079
<1min
One-liner #0435
“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2327
<1min
One-liner #0436
“Everyone is entitled to my opinion.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1762
<1min
One-liner #0437
“Everyone is on this low-fat craze now; the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1807
<1min
One-liner #0438
“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1749
<1min
One-liner #0439
“Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0440
“Fools rush in...and get all the best seats.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2065
<1min
One-liner #0441
“Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1962
<1min
One-liner #0442
“He who hesitates is not only lost but is miles from the next exit.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1954
<1min
One-liner #0443
“Here lies Ezekial Aikle age 102 - the Good Die Young.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2153
<1min
One-liner #0444
“Here's a joke for all you mind readers out there...”
...
read more..
Results 2311 - 2340 of 3574