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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
3574
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1870
<1min
One-liner #0475
“If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1744
<1min
One-liner #0476
“If you can still do at 60 what you did at 20, it means you weren't doing much at 20.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1777
<1min
One-liner #0477
“If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1831
<1min
One-liner #0478
“If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say, ’Help, they've turned me into a parrot’, you are wasting everybody's time.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2064
<1min
One-liner #0479
“If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1869
<1min
One-liner #0480
“If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1766
<1min
One-liner #0481
“In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what's going on and this person must be fired.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1782
<1min
One-liner #0482
“Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1841
<1min
One-liner #0483
“Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1954
<1min
One-liner #0484
“It is never wise to let any piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1760
<1min
One-liner #0485
“It must be tough going through life with a short - hey look, there goes a butterfly!”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1802
<1min
One-liner #0486
“It was once said that if you took all of the people who fell asleep in church and laid them end-to-end they would be more comfortable.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1743
<1min
One-liner #0487
“Keyboard not detected - press F1 to continue.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1775
<1min
One-liner #0488
“Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1717
<1min
One-liner #0489
“Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1741
<1min
One-liner #0490
“Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1749
<1min
One-liner #0491
“Millions who long for immortality don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1825
<1min
One-liner #0492
“My body may be present, but my mind has already teed off.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1826
<1min
One-liner #0493
“My doctor asked me if I'd thought about losing some weight and I told him I'd thought about it for 20 years.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1886
<1min
One-liner #0494
“My husband says I never listen to him; at least I think that's what he said.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1874
<1min
One-liner #0495
“My mind contains many good ideas, but it is not always easy to squeeze one out.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1898
<1min
One-liner #0496
“My money says that the guy who wrote "I Believe I Can Fly" has never actually tried it.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1784
<1min
One-liner #0497
“My reality check bounced.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1854
<1min
One-liner #0498
“My Uncle Mort was a REAL salesman -- he made a living selling wealthy Eskimo's igloos with fire escapes!”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1855
<1min
One-liner #0499
“Not only am I a master of suspense, but I . . .”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1779
<1min
One-liner #0500
“Once over the hill, you pick up speed.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1943
<1min
One-liner #0501
“One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2099
<1min
One-liner #0502
“Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1918
<1min
One-liner #0503
“Parents of teenagers know why animals eat their young.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1900
<1min
One-liner #0504
“Pobody is nerfect!”
...
read more..
Results 2371 - 2400 of 3574