Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liner #0596
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1997
<1min

One-liner #0596

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.... read more..
One-liner #0597
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1914
<1min

One-liner #0597

I have a speech impediment... my foot.... read more..
One-liner #0598
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1854
<1min

One-liner #0598

I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order like it should be.- Spike Donner from Ruminations... read more..
One-liner #0599
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1865
<1min

One-liner #0599

I hope that after I die, people will say of me, "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."... read more..
One-liner #0600
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1932
<1min

One-liner #0600

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that.... read more..
One-liner #0601
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1884
<1min

One-liner #0601

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" but just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"... read more..
One-liner #0602
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1936
<1min

One-liner #0602

I married Miss Right - I just didn't know her first name was Always.... read more..
One-liner #0603
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2044
<1min

One-liner #0603

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.(Greg Norman)... read more..
One-liner #0604
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1929
<1min

One-liner #0604

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction - I get to the end and say, "Well, that's not going to happen."... read more..
One-liner #0605
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1947
<1min

One-liner #0605

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.- Marcus Brigstocke... read more..
One-liner #0606
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2017
<1min

One-liner #0606

I think Bill Gates is so rich because he got his wish when he said, "I wish I had a nickel for every time this PC rebooted!"- Chris Caswell... read more..
One-liner #0607
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2100
<1min

One-liner #0607

I tried doing stand-up once but everyone just laughed at me.- Ziggy... read more..
One-liner #0608
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1897
<1min

One-liner #0608

I was having dinner with world chess champion Garry Kasparov - our table had a check tablecloth and it took him two hours to pass me the salt.... read more..
One-liner #0609
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1937
<1min

One-liner #0609

I went through hypnosis to lose weight . . . how much does $120 weigh?... read more..
One-liner #0610
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2056
<1min

One-liner #0610

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.... read more..
One-liner #0611
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1879
<1min

One-liner #0611

I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!... read more..
One-liner #0612
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1934
<1min

One-liner #0612

If Alexander Graham Bell had a teenage daughter, he never would have invented the telephone.... read more..
One-liner #0613
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2028
<1min

One-liner #0613

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!... read more..
One-liner #0614
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1946
<1min

One-liner #0614

If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.... read more..
One-liner #0615
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1914
<1min

One-liner #0615

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.- Jack Lemmon... read more..
One-liner #0616
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2161
<1min

One-liner #0616

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire - they're trained for that.- Milton Jones... read more..
One-liner #0617
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2011
<1min

One-liner #0617

I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.... read more..
One-liner #0618
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1909
<1min

One-liner #0618

In high school, I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun - that may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.- Rita Rudner... read more..
One-liner #0619
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2012
<1min

One-liner #0619

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?... read more..
One-liner #0620
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1880
<1min

One-liner #0620

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.... read more..
One-liner #0621
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2056
<1min

One-liner #0621

It's not so much about "Why this?" as "What's next?"... read more..
One-liner #0622
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1811
<1min

One-liner #0622

Just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.... read more..
One-liner #0623
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1884
<1min

One-liner #0623

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, 'Where on earth is the ceiling?!'... read more..
One-liner #0624
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1960
<1min

One-liner #0624

Middle age is when you burn the midnight oil around 9 PM.... read more..
One-liner #0625
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1936
<1min

One-liner #0625

Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver.(Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman)... read more..
Results 2491 - 2520 of 3574