Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3574 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liner #0656
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2125
<1min

One-liner #0656

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.... read more..
One-liner #0657
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2172
<1min

One-liner #0657

There are two secrets for success:1. Don't reveal all your secrets... read more..
One-liner #0658
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2120
<1min

One-liner #0658

There was once a movie entitled, How to Irritate People. It is obviously the employee training film at my local bank.... read more..
One-liner #0659
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2044
<1min

One-liner #0659

There's a sign above the scale in my doctor's office that says, "Pretend it's your IQ."... read more..
One-liner #0660
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2127
<1min

One-liner #0660

This is precisely the sort of thing that people who like this sort of thing will like.... read more..
One-liner #0661
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2207
<1min

One-liner #0661

To lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd.... read more..
One-liner #0662
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2145
<1min

One-liner #0662

Two things hard on the heart: running up stairs and running down people.... read more..
One-liner #0663
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2080
<1min

One-liner #0663

Vegetarian. That's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.'- Andy Rooney... read more..
One-liner #0664
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2180
<1min

One-liner #0664

Want Ad: Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks "frog."... read more..
One-liner #0665
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2064
<1min

One-liner #0665

We're looking for interested folks who would like to join 'Time Travelers for a Better Yesterday' last week.... read more..
One-liner #0666
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2252
<1min

One-liner #0666

What a hotel! The towels were so fluffy I could hardly close my suitcase. - Henny Youngman... read more..
One-liner #0667
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2067
<1min

One-liner #0667

What makes airport security think they can find something in my wife's purse when she can't?... read more..
One-liner #0668
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2111
<1min

One-liner #0668

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.... read more..
One-liner #0669
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2100
<1min

One-liner #0669

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive . . . so I took her to a gas station.... read more..
One-liner #0670
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2011
<1min

One-liner #0670

When I was a child and got dirty, my mother would spit on a handkerchief and use it to clean the dirt off - I guess in her mind, muddy and disgusting was better than just muddy.- David Sigmon... read more..
One-liner #0671
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2073
<1min

One-liner #0671

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me and I said, "What do you need?"... read more..
One-liner #0672
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2066
<1min

One-liner #0672

When repairmen say they'll "Come sometime next week," I usually say, "Fine, I'll pay you sometime next year."... read more..
One-liner #0673
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2210
<1min

One-liner #0673

When Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California, movie mogul Jack Warner said, "It's our fault. We should have given him better parts."... read more..
One-liner #0674
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2097
<1min

One-liner #0674

Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question has never worked in customer service.... read more..
One-liner #0675
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2201
<1min

One-liner #0675

Why does the label on Children’s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles?... read more..
One-liner #0676
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2162
<1min

One-liner #0676

Why should I learn algebra? I have no intention of ever going there.... read more..
One-liner #0677
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2062
<1min

One-liner #0677

Wife to husband: "This Christmas let's give each other sensible gifts...like ties and fur coats."... read more..
One-liner #0678
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2155
<1min

One-liner #0678

Would the person who lost a fat roll of hundred dollar bills, wrapped in a rubber band, please report to the Lost & Found Department - we found your rubber band.... read more..
One-liner #0679
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2226
<1min

One-liner #0679

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.... read more..
One-liner #0680
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2272
<1min

One-liner #0680

You always hear people using the phrase working like a dog but when's the last time you saw a dog doing any work?... read more..
One-liner #0681
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2314
<1min

One-liner #0681

You know it's going to be a bad day when YOUR picture is on the milk carton.... read more..
One-liner #0682
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2390
<1min

One-liner #0682

You know you're a bona fide Catholic, Lutheran or Episcopalian, when you're watching Star Wars, and when you hear May the Force be with you you have an overwhelming urge to respond and also with you.... read more..
Quote #0820
Quotes
Pastor Tim
1624
<1min

Quote #0820

"A blind boy paid his way to a master's degree at Northwestern University by taking notes on class lectures in Braille, typing them, and selling copies to classmates who had stronger eyes but weaker a read more..
Quote #0821
Quotes
Pastor Tim
1593
<1min

Quote #0821

"A church member waiting to be asked to serve in his own church is just like the member of a family waiting to be invited to pull weeds in front of the house where he lives." read more..
Quote #0822
Quotes
Pastor Tim
1574
<1min

Quote #0822

"A free lunch is only found in mousetraps."~John Capozzi read more..
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