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Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 2116 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1589

Chair Sleep

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1677

Check My Leg

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2030

Cheese

There's nothing grate about sliced cheese.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1753

Cheese Pun

I was being shown round a cheese factory the other day, when I fell into a giant vat of milk by-product. "I'm sorry", I said. "Am I in your whey?"... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5994

Cher Pun

If Cher were to get cloned, would she be Cher and Cher alike?... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1595

Chicken

A chicken crossing the road is "poultry in motion."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1563

Chicken Pun 1

"May I take your order?" the waiter asked."Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?""Nothing special, sir," he replied."We just tell them straight out that they're going to die." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1725

Chicken Pun 2

Q. Why does a chicken coop have two doors?A. Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1725

Chicken Surprise

A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2134

Chickens in Trees

During the Revolutionary War, there was a small encampment of patriot soldiers the woods. Before they went to bed that night, they tied chickens (they were saving them for a special meal when needed) ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2459

Children and Cement

A very strange thing happened here in suburbia a few days ago. This past weekend, I noticed a neighbor of mine repairing his sidewalk. He had removed a number of broken sections (thanks to numerous tr... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2239

Church Buses

Our local Catholic church has plans start a ministry similar to that used successfully by so many protestant churches.They'll be bringing their parishioners to services by bus. They plan to call it "m... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1874

Church Drive

A friend of mine bought a new car that sported an on-board computer. One Sunday morning when he got into the car to drive to church, the digital display lit up. Glancing at the readout, he chuckled at... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6973

Circle Pun

Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3344

Circus Attack

What do you do if you're ever attacked by a circus?Go for the juggler!... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1922

Circus Wife

A husband and wife had a human cannonball act in the circus. One day the wife ran off with the lion tamer. The husband was extremely dejected. The strong man asked him what he was going to do.The husb... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1688

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1605

Clinic Change

The Mayo Clinic, getting on board with today's diet and health conscious society, just changed its name.It's now the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3728

Clinic Sign

From a sign at the blod donor clinic - "Sorry to needle you. We need your blood."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1879

Clown Bite

Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care.But on that fateful autumn afternoon, i... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1811

Coffee Pun 2

A man comes into a restaurant at 6 o'clock in the evening."I want to have a coffee please." The waiter brings him the coffee, the man drinks it and afterwards, he orders another, then another, then a... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1687

Coffeemaker Pun

I hang on to my old, beat-up appliances as long as they keep working. I thought my wife shared, or at least accepted my philosophy. But the other morning, I saw a note posted in front of my 15-year-... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4944

Coffin Pun

A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him.Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the mi... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2886

Collie

One of the pups in a breeder's litter of collies had a strange appetite, fostered no doubt, because the dog fancier's kennel was deep in the southern United States.The odd youngster spurned regular do... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1976

Color Dreams

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
33575

Color Pun

Teacher asked her kindergarten children to put the colors green, pink and yellow in a sentence.Jenny said her Grandmother has green, pink, and yellow colors in her garden.Billy said that there are gre... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3862

Columbus Pun

We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far enough you would go over the edge.We also know that Columbus reached what we now kn... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1726

Commercial Time

The math department felt they weren't getting enough students registering as math majors, so they made a commercial and aired it on prime time--1 o'clock, 2 o'clock,3 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 7 o'clock, an... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5894

Communist Pun

Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1898

Compiled Baby Name Puns

At the end of April I began sending out a bunch of baby name puns. Many of you have asked for a complete list of all that were sent out. Here you go. Thanks to those who added their own suggestions... read more..

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