Monthly Archive

How do you get down off of an elephant?You don't, you get down off of a duck.... read more..

An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river."Why did you do that?" asks a passing ... read more..

Elephant Stew Recipe2 Rabbits (Optional)1 Elephant, Medium SizeSalt & Pepper to tasteBrown GravyCut elephant into small bite-sized pieces. This should take about two months. Add enough brown gravy to ... read more..

Undertakers Mal and Mel were storing embalming fluid.It was considered appropriate to place it in an area out of sight. Mel had his share stored promptly but there was still a good portion left for Ma... read more..

It had been a horrible week for Henry.An entomologist (insect scientist) at the local university, he was up for a promotion this year. With the promotion would come tenure. But there was a problem. It... read more..

At the Olympics in Barcelona, some of the locals were entered in equestrian events. Other contestants were surprised to note that the Spanish riders guided their horses with so much slack in the rein... read more..

My wife recently came home from shopping with an escalator.She'll buy anything marked down!... read more..

What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when!"... read more..

What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when!"... read more..

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.... read more..

"Would it be ethical to dig up the remains of of the USA founding fathers, create clones from the bone cells, and place them in a theme park called Clonial Williamsburg?" read more..

Q. What do you give a man who has everything?A. Antibiotics.... read more..

Two women archeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum. Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decompose... read more..

Working on a new trick, a magician turned his wife into a couch and his kids into chairs, but he couldn't turn them back.What have I done? he wondered. How can I bring back my family?Out of ideas, he ... read more..

While I was in the Air Force in Vietnam, I was in charge of a parts supply depot where the only relief from the heat was provided by an electric fan in my office.One morning I accidentally caught my f... read more..

Howard County police officers still write their reports by hand. The data is entered later into their database by a clerk.One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be... read more..

"Oh, master...tell me of fate.""Ah, my son...it is what has brought great nations together. It has made the world a smaller place in which to live. It has inspired men of worth to work endless hours. read more..

"Mom," said the little girl, "Is it alright to say you are going to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?""Yes," said her mother, "that is the correct thing to say.""Well then, I'm read more..

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.... read more..

As the woman was instructing the new maid on the great care required in handling certain valuable household objects. She pointed to the dining room and said with great satisfaction, "That table goes b... read more..

A mother firefly and her brood were out for a walk. 'Whatever happens,' mom ordered, 'don't shine your light. I don't want you eaten by owls.'Sure enough, after a little while, she spotted the younges... read more..

There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut som... read more..

Q. What does a fish with out an eye look like?A. Fsh... read more..

Two fish are in a tank.One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive."... read more..

WATERWAYS OF THE WORLD by Sue S. CanalA FISH STORY by Czar DeanCAUGHT IN THE FLOOD by Noah ZarkLITTLE FISHES by Anne Chovey... read more..

Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick out the four... read more..

Ernie had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four walleye. He told the fish salesman, "Pick out the fou... read more..

Mr. Frobisher walked anxiously to the house and knocked. When a nice old lady answered, he said very sad, “I’m sorry, madam, but I have some bad news. “I’m afraid I have run over your cat. I… I would ... read more..

Pet Store: "Buy one, get one flea."... read more..

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.... read more..