July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #120

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5600

<1min

Firewood Pun

There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut som... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2362

<1min

Fish Pun

Q. What does a fish with out an eye look like?A. Fsh... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2748

<1min

Fish Tank

Two fish are in a tank.One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2308

<1min

Fisherman Books

WATERWAYS OF THE WORLD by Sue S. CanalA FISH STORY by Czar DeanCAUGHT IN THE FLOOD by Noah ZarkLITTLE FISHES by Anne Chovey... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3059

<1min

Fishing Pun 1

Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick out the four... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2680

<1min

Fishing Pun 2

Ernie had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four walleye. He told the fish salesman, "Pick out the fou... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2566

<1min

Flat Cat

Mr. Frobisher walked anxiously to the house and knocked. When a nice old lady answered, he said very sad, “I’m sorry, madam, but I have some bad news. “I’m afraid I have run over your cat. I… I would ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7274

<1min

Flea

Pet Store: "Buy one, get one flea."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2702

<1min

Flies

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2634

<1min

Floor Boards

Did you hear about the Broadway actor who broke through the floor boards?He was just going through a stage.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3028

<1min

Florist Problem

Some monks were running low on funds, but didn't want to close up their monastery. After much consideration, they decided to start selling the flowers they grew. Soon after opening up shop, business b... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2368

<1min

Flu Differences

What's the difference between Bird 'Flu and Swine 'Flu?For one you need Tweetment and for the other Oinkment.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4267

<1min

Flying Pun

What's the purpose of the airplane propeller? To keep the pilot cool.-If you don't think so, just let it stop and watch him sweat!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3204

<1min

Folk Song Pun

My Uncle Jim did not appear to be much for words. Nor, was he ever seen to have friends or pets. We thought he was the primordial loner, until one time we caught him with his ant farm.He loved the c... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2450

<1min

Food Pun 1

The sandwich dates back to the time man discovered he could not live by bread alone.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4950

<1min

Food Pun 2

Q: How can you use a lighthouse, rose trellis, windstorm, dune, and Halloween costume to create something tasty? A: Make a beacon, lattice, and tornado sand witch.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2294

<1min

Free or Not Free

The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3716

<1min

Freedom

Memorial Day weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be hap... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

14562

<1min

Frisbee Pun

The other day I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees get bigger and bigger the closer they get.Then it hit me.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3103

<1min

Frisbees

The other day I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees get bigger and bigger the closer they get.Then it hit me.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2650

<1min

Frog Pun

Frogs have it easy; they can eat what bugs them.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2421

<1min

Funeral Expenses

A woman's husband died. He had $20,000 to his name. After paying all the funeral expenses, she told her closest friend that there was no money left. The friend asked, "How can that be? You told me he ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2436

<1min

Game Hunt

They have a game hunt each year at the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts. They call it "Hyena sport."~Gary Hallock... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2524

<1min

Garden Theft

"Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3926

<1min

Garnish Pun

Today's Cleanpun is actually a report to you all on a recent MSN Chat conversation I had with a CleanPun member Texas.It was a delightful chat - especially when I learned the his name was not only who... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2941

<1min

Gasr

Saudi Arabia offered to help lower gasoline prices Sunday. It's just in time for the holiday. Americans are about to celebrate Gasover, when an angel stops by the door of every SUV and collects the fi... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3535

<1min

Gear Box Pun

A friend of mine tried to build a gear-box for his car using nothing but dried grass. It was never going to work; I think he was clutching at straws.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2559

<1min

General Pun

I was in the band at Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota.Our group was required to play for all generals who arrived on our base. One morning, when our commanding officer heard on the radio that a... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2442

<1min

Genius Farmer

A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3211

<1min

Gerald the Infamous Reindeer Pun

My brother, a pastor, has done some methodical research and discovered the name of another one of Santa's reindeer - Gerald Lee. Gerald was bigger than the rest of the reindeer, and not too gifted in... read more..