Monthly Archive

I hate the speed bump in the laneway of my complex. But I just get over it and move on.... read more..

"Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."(A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.)"Domino vobiscum."(The pizza guy's here.)"Sharpei diem."(Sei read more..

A photographer was hired to take pictures at a lawyers' convention.When he lined up his subjects he got them to look their best by shouting, "Okay everyone, say fees!"... read more..

Clothes don't necessarily make the man, but a good suit makes a lawyer.... read more..

"You can lead a horse to water, but, a pencil must be lead."- Stan Laurel in the short, "BRATS" read more..

Bert has this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother him, so he suggested his buddy Louie should see a doctor, and have his legs checked out.For years, ... read more..

A man goes into the doctor. He says "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only... read more..

A man went to his lawyer and said, "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer said, "No problem, leave it all to me." The man looked somewhat upset and said,... read more..

There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from their unit and are lost. They've been wandering for several days without food and water, and are nearly resigned t... read more..

A letter carrier's career is a mail-dominated profession.... read more..

Beware of the letter G. It is the end of everything.... read more..

My grandson, Chris, has worn glasses since the age of three. When he was in the first grade he came home one day very distressed. Wanting to find out what was the matter his mother asked, "Chris, what... read more..

(BTW, Saturday's Park Pun was written by Stan Kegel.)A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as read more..

Two men were talking. One says to the other, "My wife drives like lightning."His friend asked, "She drives fast?""No, she hits trees."... read more..

Before they go out hunting for food, the lion says to his friends, "Let us prey."... read more..

A young missionary on his first term in Africa was reading his Bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of the bush... read more..

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The ... read more..

AFROPHOBIA: Fear of the return of the 70's hair styles.DEJA FLU: The feeling that one has had this cold before.HYPOCOINDRIA: Fear of not having correct change.HAIRPIECE SWIMPLEX: Rash caused by wearin... read more..

A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each."Amazed at the great value, he said to th... read more..

A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each." Amazed at the great value, he said to t... read more..

They tried to keep a locksmith in prison, but the nut bolted.... read more..

Two overweight middle-aged women are on their daily exercise stroll. They were talking about how hard it is to lose weight as one gets older, something with which all you youths must deal eventually.O... read more..

Young Mary was a dutiful child. She obeyed every rule and never once contradicted the commands that were issued daily to govern her life.One day, when her aunt was bedridden with the flu, Mary was gi... read more..

What do you call jewelry lost on the golf course?A diamond in the rough.... read more..

The Hebrew school teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little David interrupted."My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING," he announced triu... read more..

"It's better to have loved and lost a short person than never to have loveda tall." - David Chambless read more..

Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"The man said, "I'll go... read more..

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.... read more..

"I only get Newsweek and People," said Tom timelessly. read more..

A tour bus load full of noisy tourists arrives at Runnymede, England.They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta."A man pushing h... read more..