Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1928 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2128

Frog Pun

Frogs have it easy; they can eat what bugs them.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1898

Funeral Expenses

A woman's husband died. He had $20,000 to his name. After paying all the funeral expenses, she told her closest friend that there was no money left. The friend asked, "How can that be? You told me he ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1859

Game Hunt

They have a game hunt each year at the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts. They call it "Hyena sport."~Gary Hallock... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1932

Garden Theft

"Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3335

Garnish Pun

Today's Cleanpun is actually a report to you all on a recent MSN Chat conversation I had with a CleanPun member Texas.It was a delightful chat - especially when I learned the his name was not only who... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2395

Gasr

Saudi Arabia offered to help lower gasoline prices Sunday. It's just in time for the holiday. Americans are about to celebrate Gasover, when an angel stops by the door of every SUV and collects the fi... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2967

Gear Box Pun

A friend of mine tried to build a gear-box for his car using nothing but dried grass. It was never going to work; I think he was clutching at straws.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1987

General Pun

I was in the band at Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota.Our group was required to play for all generals who arrived on our base. One morning, when our commanding officer heard on the radio that a... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1854

Genius Farmer

A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2647

Gerald the Infamous Reindeer Pun

My brother, a pastor, has done some methodical research and discovered the name of another one of Santa's reindeer - Gerald Lee. Gerald was bigger than the rest of the reindeer, and not too gifted in... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2594

Ghost Marriage

I once knew a woman wanted to marry a ghost.I don't know what possessed her!... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2858

Ghost Pun

An intrepid photographer went to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost which was said to appear only once in a hundred years.Not wanting to frighten off the ghost, the photographer s... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1754

Gift

"My childhood was rough. Once for my birthday my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away."- Rodney Dangerfield read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1933

Gift Disappointment

The rich aunt was hurt and said to her nephew, "I'm sorry you don't like your gift. I asked you if you preferred a large check or a small check.""I know, Auntie," the nephew said contritely, "but I d... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1870

Gift Pun

The fight between good and evil, an epic battle: Darth Vader and Luke. Suddenly in the middle of the fight, Darth Vader pulls Luke to him, and whispers "I know what you're getting for Christmas!"Luke... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2186

Giuseppe Spomdalucc

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said."Sorry, s... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3735

Gladys Pun

There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6979

Gland Pun

Little is known about the salivary glands because they are so secretive.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3484

Glazier

My son is the manager of a glass and window company and advertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job sai... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1968

Goat Junk

Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time bent over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over. "So, did you enjoy the f... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1772

Golden Years

"Ah, the golden years. When actions creak louder than words." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1669

Golf Gun

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez."How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I do... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1820

Golf Tomatoes

"I don't want to say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4055

Gone Pun

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?", he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton." The next day, the collect... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5308

Gossip

A gossip is someone with a great "sense of rumor."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1634

Got Everything?

"Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.En route, with the siren blaring, they questioned the read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2215

Grade Pun

A high-school student came home one night rather depressed."What's the matter, son," asked his mother."Aw, Mom," said the boy, "It's my grades. They're all wet.""What do you mean 'all wet?'""You know... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1642

Grapes

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1680

Gravity

Gravity always gets me down.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4771

Grenade

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France resulted in "Linoleum Blownapart."... read more..