Monthly Archive

Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question has never worked in customer service.... read more..

Why does the label on Children’s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles?... read more..

Why should I learn algebra? I have no intention of ever going there.... read more..

Wife to husband: "This Christmas let's give each other sensible gifts...like ties and fur coats."... read more..

Would the person who lost a fat roll of hundred dollar bills, wrapped in a rubber band, please report to the Lost & Found Department - we found your rubber band.... read more..

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.... read more..

You always hear people using the phrase working like a dog but when's the last time you saw a dog doing any work?... read more..

You know it's going to be a bad day when YOUR picture is on the milk carton.... read more..

You know you're a bona fide Catholic, Lutheran or Episcopalian, when you're watching Star Wars, and when you hear May the Force be with you you have an overwhelming urge to respond and also with you.... read more..

"A blind boy paid his way to a master's degree at Northwestern University by taking notes on class lectures in Braille, typing them, and selling copies to classmates who had stronger eyes but weaker a read more..

"A church member waiting to be asked to serve in his own church is just like the member of a family waiting to be invited to pull weeds in front of the house where he lives." read more..

"A free lunch is only found in mousetraps."~John Capozzi read more..

"A giving church is a living church."     read more..

"A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water." read more..

"A member of my staff asked me when I was going to retire. I said, 'When I can no longer hear the sound of laughter.' He said, 'That never stopped you before.'"- Bob Hope read more..

"A mind in the gutter is a life down the drain." read more..

"A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt." read more..

"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing and the lawn mower is broken." read more..

"A procrastinator's work is never done." read more..

"A skeptic sees the handwriting on the wall but claims it's a forgery" read more..

"Ain't no horse can't be rode; ain't no cowboy can't be throwed." read more..

"All generalizations are false." read more..

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."- W. H. Auden, 1907-1973, English-born American poet read more..

"An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason."- C. S. Lewis read more..

"An idea that is clear and precise even though false will always have greater power in the world than an idea that is true but complex."- Alexis de Tocqueville read more..

"An optimist is the human personification of spring."- Susan J. Bissonette read more..

"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it."- E.B. White read more..

"Background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become." read more..

"Bad thoughts are like germs. Build up your immunity!" read more..

"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it."- C. S. Lewis read more..