Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1907 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1414

Prison Sign Fail

Seen on a sign outside the Clinton Correctional Facility, a maximum security prison in Dannemora, New York: "The Dannemora fire department reminds you it's fire prevention week. Practice your escape p... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1333

Overeating, Self-Control, Holidays

Scientists have discovered an incredible fact: If an article of clothing is allowed to hang uninterrupted in a closet throughout just one holiday season, it will shrink at least two sizes.... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1442

Math Ticket

Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol. The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it. "I teach math there," ... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1454

Excitement

One of the kindergarten teacher's Chinese-Canadian students was about to get a new little brother or sister. The teacher asked every few days if the blessed event had happened yet. The little boy was ... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1436

Best Marksman

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidence of the most amazing shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull's-eyes with th... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1377

Children, Perspective, Honesty, Men

One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Eli noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for ... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1585

Cereal Milk

One day I was having breakfast with my daughter, who was about 8 years old at the time. I had done what any good dad would do, I fixed her a bowl of cereal. I even poured the milk into the bowl myself... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1411

Rumors

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1417

Gullibility, Stress, Riches

Noah was standing at the gangplank checking off the pairs of animals when he saw three camels trying to get on board. "Wait a minute!" he said. "Two each is the limit. One of you will have to stay b... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1366

Teamwork

My wife works in the fuels squadron at an Air Force base, and many of her co-workers complain about the superior attitude of the pilots.One day the fuel crew decided to put things in perspective for t... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1314

Do It Yourself Appliance Repair

My wife and I were newly married and I was trying to impress her with my technical expertise.I was trying to repair our washing machine but was unable to determine where a loose wire belonged. After ... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1263

Fashion Sense

My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. "I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started." Weeks later, as the sty... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1437

Procrastination

My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That af... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1402

Save Your Money, Hypocrisy

My husband-to-be helped his aunt take the furniture of her boyfriend's home to a charity after the gentleman had passed away. She asked him if we still needed anything for our new life, and he told h... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1332

Wedding Toast to Groom

My husband, Lawrence, had offered to give the toast at the wedding of his longtime friend Theo. They had shared many happy, and foolish incidents, and as the day approached, there was much speculation... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1421

Housekeeping

My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better.Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1385

Confession

My best lesson in child psychology came when I saw our five-year-old, Steven, roughly jerking our toy poodle's leash. Suddenly his fuming father appeared and asked, "Do you want to tell me how sorry y... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1431

Reward

Morris was invited to a party but unfortunately, during the evening, he lost his wallet.Morris, not being of the shy kind, stood on a chair and shouted, "Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I've just lost... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1549

Modern Grandma, Aging, Young At Heart

Modern GrandmaIn the dim and distant pastWhen life's tempo wasn't fastGrandma used to rock and knit,Crochet, tat, and baby-sit.When her kids were in a jamThey could always count on gram.In an age of g... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1460

Luke 3:11, Charity, Sharing, The Poor

Irv and Sol, are walking down the street when Sol turns to Irv and says, "Irv, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars, with all the gear, electric windows, CD player and all of tha... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1270

The High Street of Life

Imagine yourself walking along The High street of life and each of the shop fronts has something to entice you in: The Materialism shop offers you all the creature comforts you could ever want, but t... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1349

Stress

I'm dyslexic, and attended a conference about the disorder with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal experience with the group. I told them stress aggravates my condition, in which I re... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1264

Prepared For Eternity

I was at the drug store to pick up my prescription. The line wasn't clearly formed, and there was an old man with a cane nearby me. It was unclear as to who was next.When we got to the front of the ... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1402

Advertising

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller-- guaranteed to work."I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1426

Faith, Healing, Prayer Answered "No"

I heard a story years ago which, I hope, will bring a lot of comfort to those who are taunted with the "if you had more faith..." issue. I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The past... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1434

Sentiment

I guess I must have been poking through the cards for an awful long time, lingering from one card to another, because the clerk in the Hallmark store came over and said, "Sir, is there a problem?""Yea... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1452

Life Changes

I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep.... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1410

I Asked God mx22

I asked God to take away my habit.God said, "No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up."I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.God said, "No. His spirit is whole, his body... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1410

Foot in Mouth Disease

Having survived my first driving lesson, I emerged from the car to come face to face with a woman standing on the pavement. "A bit nerve-wracking, was it?" she asked."More than that," I laughed, "My i... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1451

Time, Marriage, Friends, Gifts

Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled and blessed 2004.Here is today's Illustration.Five years after my wife, Bridgid, and I were married, we received... read more..