Monthly Archive

A man comes into a restaurant at 6 o'clock in the evening."I want to have a coffee please." The waiter brings him the coffee, the man drinks it and afterwards, he orders another, then another, then a... read more..

I hang on to my old, beat-up appliances as long as they keep working. I thought my wife shared, or at least accepted my philosophy. But the other morning, I saw a note posted in front of my 15-year-... read more..

A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him.Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the mi... read more..

One of the pups in a breeder's litter of collies had a strange appetite, fostered no doubt, because the dog fancier's kennel was deep in the southern United States.The odd youngster spurned regular do... read more..

We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far enough you would go over the edge.We also know that Columbus reached what we now kn... read more..

The math department felt they weren't getting enough students registering as math majors, so they made a commercial and aired it on prime time--1 o'clock, 2 o'clock,3 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 7 o'clock, an... read more..

At the end of April I began sending out a bunch of baby name puns. Many of you have asked for a complete list of all that were sent out. Here you go. Thanks to those who added their own suggestions... read more..

The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.... read more..

The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1788, working on the constitution. It had been a long day when Thomas Jefferson said, "Whew! It's getting rather warm in here, isn't it?"... read more..

The newspaper where I worked had just announced that when its new building was completed, the old one would be donated to the United Way.A few days later, someone came into our office soliciting contr... read more..

Outside a small Macedonian village a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of this site of significant historical developments, spanning more than 2,0... read more..

To my sweetheart: My cooking's gotten better since I fondue.... read more..

It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The reci... read more..

"On cooking shows, there is little margerine of error." read more..

I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform."I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I as... read more..

This guy goes to a Halloween party with a girl on his back."What on earth are you?" asks the host. "I'm a snail," says the guy. "But... you have a girl on your back," replies the host. "Yeah, he says... read more..

While handing a 25 cent-off coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter a woman inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the scale and was gone. The checker looked dis... read more..

On my recent trip to New York, I was walking near a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. So I looked in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said "N I L".White-rob... read more..

What do you get from a pampered cow?Spoiled milk.... read more..

"Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop.The lady complied, and the judge next day fined her twenty-five dollars.She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined her chequebo read more..

Walking into the local chamber of commerce, the stranger obviously looked desperate. He approached the guy at the counter and asked, "Is there a criminal attorney in town?"The guy behind the counter r... read more..

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays awake all night wondering if there is a dog.... read more..

Road signs are a real indication of what an area is like. In Virginia you have signs saying DEER CROSSING. At Yellowstone you have signs saying BEAR CROSSING. In Africa you have signs saying ELEPHA... read more..

Passing by the primate area one day, a zoo attendant happens to notice a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other.Upon closer examinati... read more..

After telling the customs agent he had nothing in his bags but clothing, Mark was alarmed when the official decided to open them up and check. In the very first one she opened, cushioned between his s... read more..

Once upon a time an evil king captured a beautiful princess and held her hostage in his high tower. Though she was very beautiful he forced her to wear a disgusting and smelly burlap dress."You'll nev... read more..

A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty senior for a dance at the homecoming. She gave him the once-over and said, "Sorry, I won't dance with a child.""Please forgive me," r... read more..

Every calendar's days are numbered.... read more..

Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one boasted. "Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she'd be interested in dating me but to be perfectly honest, ... read more..

A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University.The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities... read more..