Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1842 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2003

Depunable

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and dry cleaners depressed?Laundry workers ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
13364

Detective Pun

A detective who spent his entire career in plain clothes quit the police force and bought a farm."What kind of crops do you plan to grow?" the police chief asked the farmer-to-be."Carrots and potatoes... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2244

Diagnosis Pun 1

A psychiatrist is doing rounds in his hospital with a couple of students.They look in on one patient and the psychiatrist says to his students, "Sometimes this fellow thinks he's a temptress in a Bize... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2543

Diagnosis Pun 2

A man walks into the psychiatrist's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me, I keep having this recurring feeling that I'm going to shrink! What can I do?"The doctor replied, "Now, calm down, you ju... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2463

Diet

There's a new pasta diet -Just walk pasta bakery without stopping, walk pasta candy store without stopping, walk pasta ice cream store without stopping.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2079

Dieting Pun

"Dieters: people that are thick and tired of it." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1671

Doctor Behavior

A new nurse at a hospital was perplexed by Dr.Mike Wilson’s behavior. Off and on throughout her shift Dr. Wilson would run up and down the hallway, yelling, "Tetanus, measles, flu..............”" Very... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1865

Doctor Pun 1

When a panel of doctors were asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the allergists voted to scratch it and the dermatologists preferred no rash moves. The gastro-enterologists had a gu... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1836

Doctor Pun 2

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few house calls he stopped coming to the farm.Th... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1854

Doctor's Orders

"You're going out to play golf again?" Dewey’s wife complained. "I'm only doing under doctors orders." "Do I look stupid to you?!" "But it’s true," he said, while walking out the door. "Dr. Wilson tol read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2460

Dog Dance Lessons

This guy decides he wants his dog to be able to dance, so he enrolls the pet in dance classes. Dutifully, he takes this dog to class every week, but he sees no improvement. Finally, he takes the instr... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2445

Dog Names

"The Dalmatian's called Jerry, but the Afghanistan."- Jeff Foxworthy read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1987

Dog Pride

My eccentric neighbor proudly showed me what appeared to be a dog. "It's unique," he explained, "part dog and part bull and it cost me a thousand.""Which part is bull?" I asked.He replied, "The part a... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1923

Dog Pun

"If your mutt is always growling angrily, it must be because he's a cross breed." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2546

Don't Waste Words

Larry was tall and laconic so, of course, he hated to waste words."Why use two? One will do," he was frequently heard to ask. People giving him simple conversation were likely to hear, "Too much, to... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2016

Door Translation

A romantic young Outremont man is wooing a prissy young Westmount (English speaking) woman who knows French."Jt t'adore," whispers the amorous Quebecois (French Canadian)."Shut it yourself, " replies ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1945

Double Pun

A pastor's church was getting too large for him to cover all of the duties so he had a clone made of himself. All was going well, he could be in two hospitals at once praying for the sick, attend two... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2301

Dr. Pun

A new nurse listened while Dr. Bryce was yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"The new nurse asked another nurse, "Why is he doing that?"The other nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to call the shots a... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1872

Dream

A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a Trans Am. Another night I dreamed I wa... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1955

Dream Pun

People don't really dream in color.If they think they do, it just a pigment of their imagination.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3704

Dress Try

Customer: I'd like to try on that dress in the window. Saleslady: I'm sorry, madam, you'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1960

Drink Pun 1

"The young army doctor was stationed at a remote dispensary in the South Pacific.One day he was puzzled about treatment for one of his patients.He radioed a base hospital:'Have case of beriberi. What read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2117

Drink Pun 2

"Good afternoon, my good barkeep, a pint of Less if you please," said the old man as he entered the tavern."Less? Never heard of it," replied the barman."Oh, come now surely you have," he persisted." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1857

Drink Trials

At a reception, a lawyer said to a judge, "I see that you are drinking coffee. Why don't you try something more stimulating? Have you ever tried bourbon?” "No,” replied the judge, "but I have tried se... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1997

Drinks

Physiology: The study of carbonated drinks.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1646

Driving Pun 1

My family has a tradition of naming the cruise control on our cars. We were used to hearing my father proclaim, "Take it, Max," as he flipped on the cruise control during long trips in our station wa... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2738

Driving Pun 2

People say I drive like lightning, not because I drive fast but because I hit trees.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2584

Driving Pun 3

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him.Seconds later, two policemen came by. While one pulled the gentleman over, the second carefully stop... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2501

Drug Pun

Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent?The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habit formin... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1958

E-mail Warning

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu ignore it. It's just Spam.... read more..