Monthly Archive

My eccentric neighbor proudly showed me what appeared to be a dog. "It's unique," he explained, "part dog and part bull and it cost me a thousand.""Which part is bull?" I asked.He replied, "The part a... read more..

"If your mutt is always growling angrily, it must be because he's a cross breed." read more..

Larry was tall and laconic so, of course, he hated to waste words."Why use two? One will do," he was frequently heard to ask. People giving him simple conversation were likely to hear, "Too much, to... read more..

A romantic young Outremont man is wooing a prissy young Westmount (English speaking) woman who knows French."Jt t'adore," whispers the amorous Quebecois (French Canadian)."Shut it yourself, " replies ... read more..

A pastor's church was getting too large for him to cover all of the duties so he had a clone made of himself. All was going well, he could be in two hospitals at once praying for the sick, attend two... read more..

A new nurse listened while Dr. Bryce was yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"The new nurse asked another nurse, "Why is he doing that?"The other nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to call the shots a... read more..

"I just killed Dracula," said Tom Swift painstakingly. read more..

A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a Trans Am. Another night I dreamed I wa... read more..

People don't really dream in color.If they think they do, it just a pigment of their imagination.... read more..

Customer: I'd like to try on that dress in the window. Saleslady: I'm sorry, madam, you'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.... read more..

"The young army doctor was stationed at a remote dispensary in the South Pacific.One day he was puzzled about treatment for one of his patients.He radioed a base hospital:'Have case of beriberi. What read more..

"Good afternoon, my good barkeep, a pint of Less if you please," said the old man as he entered the tavern."Less? Never heard of it," replied the barman."Oh, come now surely you have," he persisted." read more..

At a reception, a lawyer said to a judge, "I see that you are drinking coffee. Why don't you try something more stimulating? Have you ever tried bourbon?” "No,” replied the judge, "but I have tried se... read more..

Physiology: The study of carbonated drinks.... read more..

My family has a tradition of naming the cruise control on our cars. We were used to hearing my father proclaim, "Take it, Max," as he flipped on the cruise control during long trips in our station wa... read more..

People say I drive like lightning, not because I drive fast but because I hit trees.... read more..

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him.Seconds later, two policemen came by. While one pulled the gentleman over, the second carefully stop... read more..

Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent?The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habit formin... read more..

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu ignore it. It's just Spam.... read more..

Earthquake predictors are faultfinders.... read more..

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy."His friend replies, "How's that?""It's like this -- my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a vict... read more..

Most people don't know that Thomas Alva Edison was among the first to show concern for western Indians. He came out to California, and finding living conditions among natives deplorable, he vowed to ... read more..

Editing is a rewording activity.... read more..

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.... read more..

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.... read more..

When two egotists meet, it's "an I for an I."... read more..

"I wonder why I always feel that I'm stuck right behind the eight ball?" Tom said racking his brain. ~Simon Champion read more..

"Have you been to that new 'Einstein Burger' yet?""Why yes I have.""How was it?""Relatively good." read more..

Seen on an Electrician's truck:"Let us remove your shorts."... read more..

Shows that may be appearing on TV soon, as a result of the electronic and computer age:Modem, She Wrote: Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: why her modem won't ever... read more..