logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

And Then They Voted

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.  She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"

When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

And then she voted.

----------------------------------------

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center.  

One day I got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the call center was open.  I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."

He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh,  Pacific."

And then he voted.

----------------------------------------

So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore.

She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

And then she voted.

----------------------------------------

I was in a high school advanced physics class and the teacher was talking about a new military weapon that uses sonic waves on the battlefield to burst enemy soldiers' chests.

One Individual in the class spoke up and said, "Well that's stupid!  Why don't they just wear headphones?"

And a few years later, he voted.

---------------------------------------

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car.  It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped.

She keeps it in the passenger side door's map pocket.

And then she voted.

----------------------------------------

I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.  My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?"

I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

And then she voted.

---------------------------------------

My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was better.  The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive.  

My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?"   

To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think they tax the turkey."

And then he voted.

----------------------------------------

I was at a convenience store buying a 99-cent "Behemoth Gulp" or some such thing.  The cost with tax was $1.02.  I only had a $5 bill.  The clerk asked if I had two pennies.  I said I didn't.

She said, "We'll take a couple from here,"  and got two pennies out of her penny cup at the register.  She handed me back my change: $4 in bills and the two pennies.

And then she voted.

----------------------------------------

My wife and I were trying to find a carry-on suitcase in one of those huge discount stores and had become hopelessly lost.  We stopped and asked a department manager where we might find suitcases.

"Did you try in Luggage?" she asked, and returned to what she was doing.

And then she voted.

----------------------------------------

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area.  So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.  She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands.  

"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

And then she voted.

----------------------------------------

After a meal at a nice restaurant, an Individual, rubbing his stomach, said, "I don't know about you guys but I'm flabbergasted."

And then he voted.

----------------------------------------

My wife was shopping at a discount store and saw a pair of sunglasses marked at $0.00.  She noted that it was missing one screw for the earpiece, but figured she could fix it.

When she went to "buy" the free glasses the cashier looked very confused and called over a manager.  After much "Individual-speak" between them, they concluded that they couldn't sell my wife the glasses and had to throw them away.  My wife tried to ask why they wouldn't just give her the glasses if they were going to throw them away anyway, but the cashier wouldn't budge and threw them into the garbage right in front of my wife.

And then he voted.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    How Hot Is It?

    How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The…
  • Default Image

    Full Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and…
  • Default Image

    It's Not A Cat

    It's not a cat it's...A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.A wildlife control…
  • woman angry

    Anniversary Card

    It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the…
  • Default Image

    Eggplant Sale

    A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ ea.--three for a dollar."All day long,…
  • Default Image

    Used Lawn Mower

    A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard…
  • Default Image

    Training Courses Now Available for Men

    1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop 2. Introduction to Common…
  • preacher1

    Sinner

    The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners…
  • Default Image

    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
  • Default Image
  • Default Image

    1-800-45TEACH

    A high school senior, saw an inspirational advertisement on television about becoming a…
  • Default Image

    Kid Say

    The best laughs I have known in life have been from my own children. I have captured…
  • Default Image

    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
  • Default Image

    Amish At The Mall

    An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall for the first time. They were amazed by…
  • Default Image

    Application To Date My Daughter

    NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unlessaccompanied by a complete…