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    Collateral

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
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    Clinton Deploys Vowels

    This cleanlaugh is a classic - originally out in 1996. WORLD NEWS: CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS…
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    Honeymoon In England

    On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Gatwick…
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    Modern Day Proverbs

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES…
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    Field Test

    My father, an Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead.…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…
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    Professional Animal Trainer

    As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit.…
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    Cancelling Cards

    Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to…
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    School Excuse

    At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and…
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    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
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    Bank Line

    With only two tellers working at the bank, the line I was standing in was moving very…
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    Boy or Girl

    Man: "Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
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    Parrot Strings

    A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in…
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    Stone's Throw

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location."It's only a stone's throw away…
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    Homework Surprise

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…

The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?"

"No sir, your honor, sir," replied Bob, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the guy who done it."

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