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  • football

    Football Newbie

    A guy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked…
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    Stolen Turkey

    Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I…
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    Road Crew Signs

    While driving through South Carolina, I kept having to slow down for road repair crews.To…
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    Out Of Step

    As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching…
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    Backwoods Labor

    In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the…
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    Spin the Bottle

    "We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it…
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    Vacation E-mails

    Major Mark Wagner is planting a church for the Salvation Army (they do good work) in the…
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    Street Name

    "I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the…
  • man selling tomatoes joke illustration

    Saved by the Tomato

    A story is told of an unemployed man who is desperate to support his family. His wife…
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    Back In My Day

    For those of us who remember the good old days. In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We…
  • picture of old speedometer

    Missing Car Parts

    A goober calls 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is…
  • picture of muddy horse

    Talking Horse

    A jogger, running down a country road, is startled as a horse yells at him, "Hey! Come…
  • students

    4th Grade Experiment

    The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she…
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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
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    Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen

    A friend was lecturing in Latin America. He was going to use a translator, but to…

The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school.

"Hello, this is Dunn Elementary," answers the principal.

"Hi. Jimmy won't be able to come to school all next week," replies the voice.

"Well, what seems to be the problem with him?"

We are all going on a family vacation," says the voice,

"I hope it is all right."

"I guess that would be fine," says the principal. "May I ask who is calling?"

"Sure. This is my father!"

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