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More Jokes

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    You're not a kid anymore when....

    You're not a kid anymore when....1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.2.…
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    Golf Questions

    Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men.Nadine: TELL me about it!…
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    Dog Calls

    Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty…
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    Build It and They Will Come

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Child Perspective on Retirement

    A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the…
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    Refrigerator Goals

    When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the…
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    Forgetting Something

    A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it…
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    Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

    (From the Archives back in 1999)1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other…
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    Oily Hair

    Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it.…
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    Beware of Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE…
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    Insured Voice

    A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in…
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    Dead Politicians

    A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught…
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    Sibling Takings

    As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day, I overheard some of the children…
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    Police Baste

    A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to…
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    Work Virus

    There is a new virus going around, called "work". If you receive any sort of "work" at…

catmelonhead150x127If cats wore t-shirts, here is what they might say.

"Purrfection cannot be improved"

"If you don't like my attitude, you should see my cat"

"Menopaws, This is the hottest I've been in years."

"Take my advice. I'm not using it."

"I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"

"Cats know how we feel. They don't care, but they know."

"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff."

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. They have never forgotten this."

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