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    Goober Painter

    Julie, the goober, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the…
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    Modern Potty Training

    Little brother: What do I do now?Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet.Little…
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    Moving In Motivation

    My engineer husband is meticulous but mild-mannered. While our new house was being built,…
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    Airline Announcements

    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture"…
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    Anesthesia

    An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school…
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    Loose Fitting Clothing

    April teaches many aerobic classes. She told a lady who was looking to sign up for the…
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    Nervous Bride

    Apparently this is a true story. A woman in her forties got married but was bit nervous…
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    Wrapping Talk

    A few days after Christmas last year, my six year old son and I were talking.He asked,…
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    Restaurant Rating

    I was meeting a friend in a restaurant and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Politcal Quotes

    "I resent your insinuendoes." "If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain…
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    Late For Work

    For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a…
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    Zookeeper's Dilemma

    A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a…
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    Today's Little Axioms

    1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.2. He who laughs last, thinks…
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    Art Collector

    A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping…

hawaiian church1.  Hey!  It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

2.  I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

3.  Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

4.  I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

5.  I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

6.  Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

7.  I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

8.  Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

9.  Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

10.  Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

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