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More Jokes

  • sky scraper

    Elevator Repair

    Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the…
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    Caught on the Job

    The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 A.M. He did his best for a while, but at…
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    Animal Thoughts

    Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl." Goldfish: "Just because I…
  • jeans

    Dress Code

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the midwest, my friend…
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    Will She Say Yes?

    An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and…
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    The Woodcutter

    This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a…
  • bill

    Check Your Bill

    A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big…
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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…
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    School Notes

    The following notes from parents excusing their children from attending school have been…
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    Gators!

    While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim,…
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    Toy Advice

    A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional…
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    Choruses vs Hymns

    young, new Christian went to his local small town church one weekend. He came home and…
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    Scared Smart

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
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    A Goober Wins

    A goober goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it. He looks on the…
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    Buy A Verdict

    Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed a man on his client's jury to hold out for a charge of…
Computer One-liners - Part 1

Hard Disk space: the final frontier!

Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?

H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!

COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

Hold a hard drive to your ear -- listen to the C:

I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.

I am logged in, therefore I am.

I are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.

I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.

I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.

I know I'm supposed to back up my files, but I still haven't found reverse on my PC.

I was going to switch her to DOS, but she had a gun

I'll give up my Windows 3.1 when they pry my cold, dead fingers off the mouse.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

In my next life I'm going to have more memory installed

Intel - still number 0.999873464508.
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