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More Jokes

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    Gold Watch

    A boss to a retiree:"As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    Think She'll Die?

    One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered…
  • phone help

    IAMS Hotline

    The IAMS Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Priest Twin

    Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for…
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    Chapstick

    We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died.Jack was a great cat…
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    One Room School

    The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room…
  • a picture of home

    No Place Like Home

    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started…
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    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
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    Refrigerator Goals

    When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the…
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    Ticket Purchase

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…
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    Horse Talk

    "Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I…
  • sick

    Sick Days

    It was the toughest experience of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then…
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    How to Bathe a Cat

    1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 3

    Computer One-liners - Part 3Programming Department: Mistakes made while you…
Computer One-liners - Part 1

Hard Disk space: the final frontier!

Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?

H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!

COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

Hold a hard drive to your ear -- listen to the C:

I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.

I am logged in, therefore I am.

I are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.

I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.

I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.

I know I'm supposed to back up my files, but I still haven't found reverse on my PC.

I was going to switch her to DOS, but she had a gun

I'll give up my Windows 3.1 when they pry my cold, dead fingers off the mouse.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

In my next life I'm going to have more memory installed

Intel - still number 0.999873464508.
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