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    Things Not To Say or Do at a Job Interview

    ** See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.** Ask…
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    Arguing

    The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would…
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    Internet Cleaning

    As many of you know, each year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to…
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    A Deeper Problem

    Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he…
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    Grasping Challenge

    When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept…
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    English vs Western

    My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses…
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    Dog Barking Payback

    A wife and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has…
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    Fasten Your Seatbelts

    Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the…
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    Football Confessions

    Our assistant pastor, an avid football fan, had to hear confessions on Saturday during an…
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    Reap What You Sow

    Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture…
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    Help Is Nearby

    My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic…
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    Signs You May Be Canadian

    SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You…
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    Scientist's Convention

    In the far distant future in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the…
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    Two-Part Question

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $50,000 Question. The night before the…
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    Newborn Utterance

    The birth of our second child, a daughter, came after a long and difficult labor. But it…

I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room.

The ER nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds."

While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me.

"Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet."

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