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More Jokes

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    Doctor's Advice

    A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw…
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    Goober Guide to Household tools

    A goober's guide to household tools: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it…
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    Campaign Funding

    Can you believe a candidate dropped out of the race because of a lack of campaign funds?…
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    How Gevernment Works

    Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress…
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    Amazing Golf Ball

    A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a salesman runs up to him,…
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    Procedure Recall

    As a resident physician in radiology, I was speaking with the man whose wife was about to…
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    Forced Landing

    A flight instructor was sent out to help a student who had radioed that he was about to…
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    Flu Prayer

    A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to…
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    Directions

    A friend was thinking about buying a new house in the country and asked me to come out…
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    Larger Than 20

    A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our…
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    Goober & Cell Phone

    A young man wanted to get his beautiful goober wife something nice for their first…
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    Accents

    About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old…
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    Sugar Packets Announcement

    The Building Committee has been informed that opened sugar packets are being found in the…
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    Something Nice For Dad

    Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his…
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    Fridge Magnet Smiles

    You have all seen those little hand painted signs hung in so many kitchens. Many are…

I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room.

The ER nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds."

While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me.

"Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet."

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