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    Mom's Time Out

    My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was…
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    Poor Widow

    A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at…
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    Oarsmen News

    One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal Nile barge goes down to speak to the oarsmen…
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    Range Cancelled

    At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second…
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    Lion Tamer

    A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer.…
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    Soup Solution

    Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!Waiter: Don't worry, sir. The frog should…
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    Rare Bible

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away…
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    Tense

    An English teacher at Michigan State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical…
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    Bunyan Fall

    My son, Bunyan, is a construction foreman. One day he tumbled from a scaffold, managing…
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    Dinosaur Highway

    A goober was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the…
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    Fax Hint

    As a professor at the Air Force Institute of Technology, I taught a series of popular…
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    Good Guess

    The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the pre-school teacher in…
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    Get Well Soon

    A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.The doctors…
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    Buying Shoes

    A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the…
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    The Envelope Please

    Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who…

I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room.

The ER nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds."

While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me.

"Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet."

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