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  • wedding rings

    Newlywed Grace

    A recently married man was walking with his father one day and said: "My new wife's…
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    The End is Near

    A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The…
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    Freezer Order

    I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals.Forget calling them "Veal…
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    New Employee Orientation

    Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a high-tech company. During the welcoming…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
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    Parrot Problems

    A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a…
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    Tub Baptism

    A friend of mine took her four-year-old daughter to a baptismal service at her church.…
  • chef bad

    You Know You Are a Bad Cook When…

    - You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer. - You consider it a culinary success if the…
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    Little Johnny Tested

    The school was having trouble with Little Johnny and decided to have him tested by a…
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    Where's God?

    Two brothers in a small town were well-known as trouble makers. If there was a problem in…
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    Weight Training

    My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me,…
  • beard and_necktie

    Interview Excerpts

    The following, allegedly, are actual post-interview excerpts collected from middle…
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    I'm a Moth

    A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a…
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    Kangaroo Fence

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high,…
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    Top 10 Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

    1. Blaming your gas on me.... Not Funny 2. Yelling at me for barking. I am a dog you…
Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, let's try this my way...just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again...I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I'll pick you up and dust you off--After I laugh my head off!

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask...because you are my FRIEND!
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