logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Inspector Mom

man grumpyHave you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived in Iraq? They're all men!

How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash?  We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. For crying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and splatters on the floor.... and these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction?

I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in.

Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters. They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective.

So... considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of men who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats?

My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?" And if he tried to lie to her, she'd march him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad. He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole damn summer.

Inspectors! You want the job done? Call my mother.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Goober Vacuum

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Computer.

    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #1

    Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.As a computer, I find your faith in technology…
  • Default Image

    Prescription Worries

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know,…
  • Default Image

    Goober Widow

    A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer.…
  • Default Image

    Queen Size

    A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking…
  • Default Image

    If You Go, I'll Go

    A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he…
  • train station

    Large Party

    On one occasion William Howard Taft, in his work as an attorney, took a train to…
  • Default Image

    CD Generation

    After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover…
  • single red_rose

    Memory Clinic

    Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the…
  • cemetary

    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
  • woman sleepy

    Sorry I'm Late

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…
  • Default Image

    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
  • Default Image

    Have More Fun at Church

    After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've…
  • Default Image

    Goodbye From George

    George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and…
  • baseball

    Fly Catch

    My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Los Angeles Dodgers…