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More Jokes

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    Television Bloopers - British Style

    "Liz Taylor is recovering in hospital after having had a benign tuna removed from just…
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    Chinese Knitting

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Peyton Manning is to football. She designed…
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    Knowing the Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers."Yes," he said. "I do.…
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    The War of the Navels

    The War of the Navels People have navels of different kinds,Ineys and outeys, to that…
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    Doctor's Orders

    Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous…
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    I'm Not Old - I'm Just Mature

    I'M NOT OLD...JUST MATUREToday at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.From my purchase…
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    Bank Line

    With only two tellers working at the bank, the line I was standing in was moving very…
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    The Hokey Pokey

    *The Hokey Pokey*Original LyricsPut your left foot in,Your left foot out,Your left foot…
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    Official ID Card

    My husband, a U.S. Coast Guard pilot, was on an exchange tour with the Royal Navy in…
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    Rules for Writers

    1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences…
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    Library Argument

    On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with…
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    Tail Light

    "How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The…
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    Reunion Pride

    My wife and I were at my high school reunion.As I looked around, I noticed the other men…
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    Mirror Honesty

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full…
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    Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire

    1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left…

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor.

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

When you swim in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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