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  • river

    Lunch On The Bank

    A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve…
  • Pictures of a Mother's Day Frame

    Mother Quotes

    PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight…
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    Found Wallet

    While shopping in a supermarket in Washington, D.C., I heard over the PA system:"A wallet…
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    Late For Sunday School

    A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
  • uspenny

    Penny Problems

    After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard…
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    Drag Racing Moped

    A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Turbo Z123DX. It is the…
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    Towel Misunderstanding

    One day a child at my four-year-old's Sunday school class told her classmates that she…
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    Anesthesia

    An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school…
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    Spelling Help

    My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the…
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    Hurry and Sign Up

    Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army…
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    Three Gifts

    Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they…
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    Corrections

    IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our…
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    Stockbroker's Secretary

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning."I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…

Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of the universe?  Here are a few examples:

1.  A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to his ability to actually do the work involved.

2.  Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.

3.  A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.

4.  The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.

5.  The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.

6.  Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.

7.  The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.

8.  The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.

9.  The capacity of any hot-water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.

10.  What goes up must come down, except bubble gum and slightly used Rice Krispies.

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