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More Jokes

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    Government Pipe Specifications

    1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around…
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    Business Exhaustion

    The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped…
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    Nice Boyfriend

    One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they…
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    Nephew Caddy

    My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my…
  • perfume gift

    Surprise Gift

    The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of…
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    Sick Call

    Mr. Frobisher constantly called Dr. Wilson at all hours of the day and night and would…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #2

    C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
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    Window Seats

    At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both…
  • Owl Jokes

    Owl Friend

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
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    Vow of Silence

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
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    Grandmother on the Stand

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a…
  • baseball1

    Bat Delivery

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
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    Memento

    Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman:…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
  • family1

    Dressing The Kids

    The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right…

Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of the universe?  Here are a few examples:

1.  A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to his ability to actually do the work involved.

2.  Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.

3.  A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.

4.  The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.

5.  The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.

6.  Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.

7.  The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.

8.  The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.

9.  The capacity of any hot-water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.

10.  What goes up must come down, except bubble gum and slightly used Rice Krispies.

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