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    No E-mail (copyrighted??)

    An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his…
  • funeral joke with a tuxedo

    Do Something Nice

    Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away…
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    Walking on Water

    Bob, the goober, heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all…
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    Head Check

    One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he…
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    No Rest

    The doctor had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and…
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    Words to Ponder

    *Words to Ponder* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. I'd kill…
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    Definitions

    ADULT:A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.…
  • mom and child

    Please and Thank You

    While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She…
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    In the Fitting Room

    My girlfriend took her five-year-old daughter shopping with her. The little girl watched…
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    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…
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    Tech Smoke

    A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.Tech: What's the…
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    Marine Mines

    In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used belonged…
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    Mowing the Lawn

    I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn…
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    Methuselah Diet

    Methuselah ate what he found on his plateAnd never, as people do nowDid he note the…
  • garbage cans

    Career Choice

    A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows…

Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of the universe?  Here are a few examples:

1.  A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to his ability to actually do the work involved.

2.  Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.

3.  A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.

4.  The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.

5.  The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.

6.  Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.

7.  The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.

8.  The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.

9.  The capacity of any hot-water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.

10.  What goes up must come down, except bubble gum and slightly used Rice Krispies.

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