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  • newspaper2

    Cub Reporter

    The newspaper editor was instructing the cub reporter in important details of his…
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    Raffle Toy

    Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have…
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    I've Got Shingles

    A fella walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He…
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    Kids Say the Darndest Things

    Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because…
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    Dryer Message

    As a lobbyist in Washington, DC, I'd just finished up a meeting with a Congressman when I…
  • leftovers

    Family Pressure

    Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers: "It gets rough,"…
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    I Just Can't Drive Today

    For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled…
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    There's Teacher

    The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to…
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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
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    Early

    Ok, what is the deal with "The early bird gets the worm"? He gets up early, and all he…
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    Rejection Rejection

    Have you ever had a resume rejected? Don't ever let it happen again. The next time that…
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    Service for One

    On Sunday, the new young pastor arrived at church and found only an old farmer had shown…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    New Boater

    This past summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of…

When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him the litany of complaints - this hurts, that's stiff, I'm tired and slower, etc.

He responded with, "Mrs. Siegel, you have to expect things to start deteriorating. After all, who wants to live to 100?"

The grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone who's 99."

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