logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Moving Smith

    Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office."Boss," he says, "we're doing some…
  • parrot

    Bilingual Parrot

    This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. He sees one on a perch with a red string…
  • Default Image

    Blood Flow

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter…
  • A funny conversation between brothers.

    Silly Mom

    Thanks to list member Lowell Guebert for sending in this real life, happened to her,…
  • Default Image

    Toilet Brush

    My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his…
  • Default Image

    Spelling Help

    My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the…
  • Default Image

    Who's Your Daddy?

    While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother…
  • Default Image

    Theme Songs For Bible Characters

    Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise" Lazarus:…
  • Default Image

    Even More Musings

    1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 2. One nice thing about egotists: They…
  • Picture of a gas cap

    Trading Caps

    I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had…
  • Default Image

    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
  • Default Image

    How Hot Is It?

    How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The…
  • face stressed2

    A Brother Names the Babies

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C., (whose husband was out of the country) gets in a…
  • Default Image

    Hostage Situation

    Do you know anyone in your office like this?At the data-entry company where I work, the…
  • Default Image

    Why Parents Go Gray

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem…

Preliminary Accident Report FT 1549.  Captain held responsible for unauthorized actions which resulted in crash says F.A.A..

Subject: NTSB Report on Flight 1549 

Hudson river_planeUS Airways violated Federal migratory bird regulations by hunting geese with an A320 Airbus jetliner, claim anonymous government sources.  The pilot of flight 1549, Air Force veteran and avid hunter Chesley B. Sullenberger, tried combining both of his interests by bagging a brace of geese over the wetlands near New York's LaGuardia airport after takeoff, on his way to Charlotte, North Carolina.

The imported European $77 million A320 airliner is not certified for either waterfowl or upland bird hunting, so it was not surprising that the aircraft malfunctioned.  When he realized that both New York and New Jersey State Game and Fish enforcement officers would soon be approaching, Captain Sullenberger unsuccessfully attempted to hide the plane in the Hudson River.

The crew and 150 passengers were chilled and shaken but unhurt. Most were simply grateful to avoid spending the weekend in Charlotte.

National Transportation Safety Board inspectors rushed to the scene, and reportedly found no Duck Stamps on the downed aircraft's fuselage.  Captain Sullenberger has not been charged, but is being held incommunicado at an undisclosed location.

PETA is urging the government to prosecute the pilot for double honkercide and poaching, and the animal rights group is expected to file a civil suit on behalf of the flock.  The two victims were undocumented aliens, according to sources close to the investigation, Canada geese who had over-stayed their visas.  Their goose gang scandalized their quiet Queens community by squatting in local cemeteries and golf courses, parking on the grass, cooking strange-smelling food and throwing wild parties late into the night.  Neighbors say police dogs were called out on several occasions. 

Such incidents have triggered a wave of anti-Canada goose sentiment, but at this time revenge or hate crime motives are not suspected in the US Airways bird bashings. 

Forensic examination of the avian corpses continues, and technicians are analyzing the two cadavers under heat with chestnuts, prunes, and Armagnac. NTSB inspectors have contributed a supply of testing fluid, a 2005 Zind-Humbrecht Riesling from Alsace .  We will update this story as entrees details become available.

Powered By JFBConnect