logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

One Parachute

You are one of "two" people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute.  How would you react?

Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump anyway.

Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived crashes just like this before.

Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.

Bureaucrat: you order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.

Lawyer: you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.

Doctor: you tell them you need to run more tests, then take the parachute in order to make your next appointment.

Sales executive: you sell them the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.

Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.

Engineer: you make them another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.

Scientist: you give them the parachute and ask them to send you a report on how well it worked.

Mathematician: you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.

Philosopher: you ask how they know the parachute actually exists.

English major: you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.

Computer Science: you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.

Economics: you plot a demand curve by asking them, at regular intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute.

Psychoanalysis: you ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds them of.

Drama: you tie them down so they can watch you develop the character of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute.

Art: you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.

Environmentalist: you refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable.

Sports Fan: you start betting on how long it will take to crash.

Auto Mechanic: as long as you are looking at the plane engine, it works fine.

Surgeon General: you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health.

Association of Tobacco Growers: you explain very patiently that despite a number of remarkable coincidences, studies have shown that jumping out of a plane is NOT harmful to your health.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Captain Comeback

    I worked in the biology department at Buffalo State College in New York. The Great Lakes…
  • Default Image

    Rules for Writers

    1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences…
  • Default Image

    Mouse Repellant

    A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a…
  • Default Image

    Clumsy Ad Copy

    - No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really…
  • Default Image

    Altar Call

    A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.After the…
  • Default Image

    More Sayings

    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. Life is an…
  • Default Image

    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
  • Default Image

    Scared Smart

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
  • Default Image

    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
  • Default Image

    Test Crash

    As the test pilot climbed out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and…
  • Default Image

    Dewey Check

    I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Dewey, having a snack."Where's…
  • Default Image

    Rodentially Clean

    Johnny, age 5, was being taught to be neat and clean and to pick up after himself. One…
  • Default Image

    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
  • Default Image

    Solid to Gas

    Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions…
  • bill

    Check Your Bill

    A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big…