More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Free Paper

    My dry cleaner very generously gives each customer a free copy of the daily newspaper. As…
  • Default Image

    The Toddler Diet

    Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that…
  • Default Image

    Late Excuse

    Harry came into the office an hour late for the third time in a week. "What's the story…
  • Default Image

    All Saved Up

    After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've…
  • Default Image

    Physics Purpose

    One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med…
  • Default Image

    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…
  • Default Image

    Murphy's Laws on Computers

    *Murphy's Laws on Computers*- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.-…
  • Default Image

    Bush Gore Debate

    For those who didn't have time to watch the presidential debate, we've prepared this…
  • Default Image

    Talking in Your Sleep

    A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.The…
  • Default Image

    New Boater

    This past summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of…
  • Default Image

    Basic Training

    For some recruits, there is nothing basic about basic training. It was clear that one…
  • Default Image

    Free to Go

    Jon and Amanpreet were in an institution. This place had an annual contest where they…
  • Default Image


    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…
  • movie seats

    More things you would never know without the movies

    The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love... The…
  • Default Image

    Go Get Grandma

    When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging…

You are one of "two" people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute.  How would you react?

Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump anyway.

Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived crashes just like this before.

Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.

Bureaucrat: you order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.

Lawyer: you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.

Doctor: you tell them you need to run more tests, then take the parachute in order to make your next appointment.

Sales executive: you sell them the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.

Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.

Engineer: you make them another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.

Scientist: you give them the parachute and ask them to send you a report on how well it worked.

Mathematician: you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.

Philosopher: you ask how they know the parachute actually exists.

English major: you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.

Computer Science: you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.

Economics: you plot a demand curve by asking them, at regular intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute.

Psychoanalysis: you ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds them of.

Drama: you tie them down so they can watch you develop the character of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute.

Art: you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.

Environmentalist: you refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable.

Sports Fan: you start betting on how long it will take to crash.

Auto Mechanic: as long as you are looking at the plane engine, it works fine.

Surgeon General: you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health.

Association of Tobacco Growers: you explain very patiently that despite a number of remarkable coincidences, studies have shown that jumping out of a plane is NOT harmful to your health.

Powered By JFBConnect