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    Van Problem

    The fist knocking on the door belonged to a cop. Bracing for the worst, the yard foreman…
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    Sleeping Leg

    A lady had been exposed to strep and needed to visit the doctor's office just to have her…
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    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
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    Hot Shot Pilot

    A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a…
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    Gift Excitement

    The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very…
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    Confession

    A young girl once confessed to her priest that she thought she was guilty of the sin of…
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    A Captain's Tale

    Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly-man who showed no fear in…
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    Senior "Favorite Things"

    There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP (The American…
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    Landing in the Fog

    An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically…
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    Husband's Estimate

    Joe's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years…
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    Car Pool Note

    A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried…
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    Busted

    He was a young Pastor and as usual the enemy would try to stir up trouble in the family…
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    Mind Games For Dogs

    From the dog manual on how to mess with the minds of your humans. 1. After your humans…
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    Coffee Pain

    Linda and Jill were chatting over coffee.Said Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange…
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    Lit Match

    On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the…

wedding kidsA young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"

The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"

"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."

The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman:

 "Buy a television."

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