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More Jokes

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    Shower Music

    "Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the…
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    Heavenly Music

    I attend a small village church in rural PA. On any given Sunday, we may have six or…
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    Tips On Love

    *Tips On Love From Those That Should Know*(all questions were answered by kids, age…
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    Dewey Check

    I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Dewey, having a snack."Where's…
  • phone help

    Phone Calls

    Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm…
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    Tendjewberrymud

    Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...... Read…
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    Canine Complex

    A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to…
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    Ice Capades

    A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades.…
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    More On Candidates

    A newscaster interrupted scheduled programming to announce the outcome of a political…
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    Burglar and Vicar

    A burglar broke into a minister's house and told the pastor, "One move and you're dead.…
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    Stork Reunion

    A man took his little boy to the zoo for the very first time. Each time they would see a…
  • pictures of solar eclipse

    Eclipse Memos

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Pearl Dream

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Gender Request

    After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery…
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    PICNIC Problem

    Looking over the log book kept by the computer support staff at my office, I noticed…

A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"

The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"

"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."

The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman.

The results read, "Buy a television."

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