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    Jury Excuse

    "Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty," pleaded an anxious-looking…
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    Homework Excuses

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    Lunch On The Bank

    A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve…
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    Ugly Baby

    A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've…
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    One Parachute

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    Ski Wax

    As a ski instructor, I sometimes tease my little pupils. Once I told seven year old Luke…
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    Class Reunions

    Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is…
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    Chicken Cannon

    TRUE STORY!!!! It Does Take a Rocket Scientist Scientists at NASA developed a gun…
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    To The Rescue

    One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant.…
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    Dress Code

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the midwest, my friend…
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    The Head Hog

    The secretary picked up the phone and heard a very "countryfied" voice on the other end…
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    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
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    Choruses vs Hymns

    young, new Christian went to his local small town church one weekend. He came home and…
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    How High Can You Go?

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty…
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    Dog Barking Payback

    A wife and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has…

A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"

The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"

"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."

The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman.

The results read, "Buy a television."

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