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    TV Quote

    Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one…
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    Jonah Test

    A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside the pre-school Sunday School…
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    Broken Scale

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Window Savings

    A window salesman phoned a customer. "Hello, Mr. Brown," said the sales rep. "I'm calling…
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    Bathroom Instructions

    On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the…
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    Pink Humvees

    Our division had to repaint our Humvees to a sand color for Desert Storm. The result was…
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    Moon Cheese

    For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.Then the astronauts found…
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    Taps System

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    62nd Birthday

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…
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    Three Important Words

    At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married…
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    Priory Priority

    The 104-year-old building that had served as the priory and primary student residence of…
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    Military Haircut

    Tiring of the same old buzz haircut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went…
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    Duelling Judges

    Tyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in…
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    Wedding Blessing

    At a wedding ceremony that I was performing, I raised my hand to give the final…
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    Found Wallet

    While shopping in a supermarket in Washington, D.C., I heard over the PA system:"A wallet…

wedding kidsA young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"

The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"

"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."

The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman:

 "Buy a television."

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