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    Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

    1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?So you've decided to get yourself a human being.…
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    Turn Around

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    Call Me Leroy

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    Dog Exercises

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    Curfew

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    Goober Diagnosis

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    New Car

    The first Sunday after my husband and I bought a new car, we parked it in the last row of…
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    Roast Woes

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    Unique Breakfast

    A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast, so he…
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    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
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    Sports Injury

    Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so…
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    Goober Nails

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    The Politician Dance

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you…

The Politically Correct National Football League would like to announce its name changes and schedules for the coming season:

The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People on opening day.

Other key games include the Dallas Western-Style Laborers hosting the St. Louis Uninvited Guests, and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.

In Week 2, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans Pretty Good People.  The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey, while the Seattle Birds of Prey will visit the Phoenix Male Finches.

The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden.  The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for a clash with the West Indies Freebooters later in Week 9.  And the Detroit Large Carnivorous Cats will play the Chicago Securities-Traders-in-a-Declining-Market.  Week 9 also features the Indianapolis Young Male Horses at the New England Zealous Lovers of Country.

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