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    2503 Years Old

    A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in Latin America,…
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    Perfect Mate

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to…
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    Vet Come Back

    Dr. Cutter is the local veterinarian in Kennebec County, Maine. He was well-known in town…
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    Balance

    I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
  • sunday school

    No Hero of Mine

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    One Question Interview

    A handyman, who was working for a Synagogue, had asked for a raise and was turned down.…
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    Hot Shot Pilot

    A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a…
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    Go Easy at First

    Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight…
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    Manager's Project Buzzword Tool

    Are you a manager and behind in your team's project? Here is a handy tool for helping you…
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    What Am I?

    Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had…
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    Goober Diagnosis

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    Walking Recovery

    An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected…
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    Signs You May Be Canadian

    SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You…
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    Forgotten Watch

    A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for…

1.  I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.  I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.  I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.  I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.  I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7.  If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8.  I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9.  I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10.  I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

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