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More Jokes

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    Goober Motivation

    One day a goober was hiking up to an old camp. There was an outhouse along the way, so he…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Trio of Puns

    Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous…
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    Pearl Dream

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Golf Hole

    A young minister and Mr. Sims, an elderly parishioner, were playing golf. The minister's…
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    Insurance Reflection

    Bill's barn burned down, and his wife Polly called the insurance company.Polly told the…
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    Professionalism Test

    Read this out loud:This is this catThis is is catThis is how catThis is to catThis is…
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    Going to Disneyworld

    "Hey Grandpa!, can you make a noise like a frog?""I think I can do that. Why?""'Cuz Dad…
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    Graceless at Grandma's

    Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.…
  • Race horses talking in the stable

    Race Horses in a Stable

    Some race horses are staying in a stable when one of them starts to boast about his track…
  • man grumpy

    Hearing Aid

    While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was…
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    Country Boys

    These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it…
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    No Stairs

    An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
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    Chapstick

    We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died.Jack was a great cat…
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    Goober On The Net

    A goober went to his mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to…

1.  I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.  I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.  I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.  I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.  I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7.  If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8.  I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9.  I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10.  I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

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