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More Jokes

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    As It Lies

    Bill and Bob, longtime golfing buddies, were involved in a match-play contest with the…
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    Hostage Situation

    Do you know anyone in your office like this?At the data-entry company where I work, the…
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    Hiccup Cure

    A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist. When the pharmacist came out,…
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    60's Fans

    Fans of '60's music, my 14-year-old daughter and her best friend got front-row tickets to…
  • workshop

    Modern Tool Reality

    Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern…
  • Picture of Pulled Over By Police Car

    Ticketing Mom?

    Thanks to Kathy Edwards for submitting this true story. She wrote, "Pastor Tim, This…
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    Conductor Comment Comeback

    A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave this guy…
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    Signs Found In The Kitchen

    So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! Ring bell…
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    Seen This?

    I had trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing…
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    Norma Findlay in Room 302

    A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Michael's Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible…
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    What "Guy" Phrases Really Mean

    "I'm going fishing."really means..."I'm going to go and stand by a stream with a stick in…
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    Bike Training

    Never having learned to ride a bicycle as a child, I finally decided to do it in my late…
  • puddle road

    Deep Trouble

    A man driving his car down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle…
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    That's It

    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece…
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    Nice Boyfriend

    One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they…

1.  I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.  I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.  I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.  I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.  I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7.  If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8.  I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9.  I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10.  I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

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