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More Jokes

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    Rank Explanation

    My brother Ken was home on leave from his post in Hawaii, when he announced that he had…
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    Letter From A Farm Kid

    Letter from a farm kid, now at Paris Island Marine Corps recruit depot:Dear Ma and Pa:I…
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    Road Crew Signs

    While driving through South Carolina, I kept having to slow down for road repair crews.To…
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    Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 Years To Learn

    1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.2.…
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    Parts Search

    I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his…
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    Parenting Test

    MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the Wet…
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    If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

    If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!To get…
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    Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an…
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    Lost Phone

    My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could…
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    Temperance River

    A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had…
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    Computer Customer Quotes

    "Computer Customer Quotes" or "Why goobers shouldn't own computers!" Customer: "I have…
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    Fine Request

    A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. "Mr. Brewster," the…
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    Husband Chair Feedback

    A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies'…
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    In the Bag

    I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on…
  • A funny joke about marriage

    Shoebox Doilies

    As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near…

1.  I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.  I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.  I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.  I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.  I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7.  If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8.  I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9.  I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10.  I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

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