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More Jokes

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    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
  • shopping

    Color Blind

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Late Night Studying

    My husband, Cal, grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend…
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    Noisy Neighbors

    A man was telling his friend about his upstairs neighbors. "They started to jump up and…
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    IBA

    A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that…
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    Diet Additive

    During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits…
  • chef bad

    You Are A Bad Cook If…

    You can find "You Know You Are a Bad Cook When...part 1" here. - The last time you tried…
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    Forgotten Watch

    A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for…
  • doctor3

    Can Cure

    A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor…
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    Coffee, No Cream

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    One Little Square

    A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mum, what`s…
  • garage

    Signs Your Garage Needs to be Cleaned

    - It just entered itself in the heavyweight division on BattleBots. - I don't care what…
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    Hacker Safety

    The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.He tried three times to…
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    Telephone Answering Ordeal

    A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she…
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    Boys In Hospital

    The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the children's ward."Are…

1.  I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.  I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.  I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.  I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.  I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7.  If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8.  I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9.  I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10.  I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

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