More Jokes

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    Meteor Miss

    As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was…
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    Hacker Safety

    The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.He tried three times to…
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    Didn't See That Coming

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her…
  • mistake1


    If a barber makes a mistake,It's a new style... If a driver makes a mistake,It is an…
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    Helpless Creatures

    A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur…
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    Preaching Assistant

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Bank Enunciation

    Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to…
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    Babies at the Mall

    A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month-old baby and her…
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    Bible Confusion

    The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first…
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    Bicycle Accidents

    In the early 1990's, when I was stationed at Caserma Carlo Ederle in Italy, it was very…
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    Losing New Balls

    Morris had been playing golf for years. He always used the very finest equipment, but his…
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    Sibling Takes

    As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day, I overheard some of the children…
  • woman old

    I'm Aging Gracefully

    I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening…
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    Lodge Meeting

    The wife heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left.She…

1.  I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.  I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.  I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.  I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.  I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7.  If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8.  I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9.  I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10.  I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

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