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More Jokes

  • doorbell

    Quit Bothering Us

    We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town. Early the next…
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    Inclusive Poster

    Anxious to include as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human…
  • mom and child

    Please and Thank You

    While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She…
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    The English Language

    Lets face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the…
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    Sleeping Leg

    A lady had been exposed to strep and needed to visit the doctor's office just to have her…
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    12 Reasons to be Thankful You Burned the Turkey

    1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.…
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    Newbie Preacher

    A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a…
  • pedestrian pictogram

    Walking Out

    "I hope you didn't take it personally, Pastor," an embarrassed woman said after a church…
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    Huge Steak

    A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day…
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    Blind Date

    After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with…
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    "If It" Office Advice

    If it rings, answer it. Talk kindly. If it clanks, call the repairman. If it whistles,…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Dad Value

    A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. The…
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    Losing Load

    A trucker stops for red light and a goober girl catches up. She knocks on the door and…
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    Manager's Project Buzzword Tool

    Are you a manager and behind in your team's project? Here is a handy tool for helping you…

1.  I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.  I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.  I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.  I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.  I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7.  If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8.  I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9.  I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10.  I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

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