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More Jokes

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    Big Toe Tingle

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    Bear Hunting Preacher

    A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some…
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    Toy Advice

    A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional…
  • golf tee

    Ladies' Tee

    It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Murray was beginning his pre-shot routine,…
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    Let Us Know

    The following advertisement appeared in a physical culture magazine:"Here's a good test…
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    Pet Names

    Bernie was invited to his ageing friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded…
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    Does That Hurt

    We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with…
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    Wayward Cessna

    You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high security, super-secret base in Nevada,…
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    Ever Riden a Honda?

    A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #1

    Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.As a computer, I find your faith in technology…
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    Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

    1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.2.) Somebody call the janitor -…
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    Kid Quotes

    "Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."- Donna Maria G, age 9 "Laugh…
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    Making Up For Lost Time

    An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather…
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    New Phonetic Alphabet

    The same old standard phonetic alphabet (which you would use to describe spelling…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the…

1.  I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.  I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.  I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.  I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.  I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7.  If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8.  I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9.  I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10.  I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

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