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More Jokes

  • loveyou

    If You Love Something Variations

    THE ORIGINAL VERSION:If you love something,Set it free...If it comes back, it's yours;If…
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    Barbecue Forks

    As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long…
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    Scout's Letter Home

    Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on…
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    Note From Judge

    During court one busy day, the judge quietly passed the clerk a note reading: "Blind on…
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    Pet Hotline

    The Iams Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Forklift Economy

    After being laid off from three jobs in the past year, Dewey was hired to work in a…
  • pig upclose

    Hog Mark-up

    My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next…
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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
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    Zoo Sign

    Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils. But to whom? A sign posted in the…
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    Cheap Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6am wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    Kids' Letters to the President

    Dear Mr. President: How much money does the president make? Could you please write and…
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    Family Cleaning

    Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed…
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    Watch Your Step

    Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family…
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    Daddy's Trick

    The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said,"I'm so happy to see you…
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    Need a Pen?

    A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her…

Ten Rules for Good Housekeeping

1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.  

2. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.  

3. Never make fried chicken in the nude.  

4. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.  

5. Make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later start all over again.  

6. To hang up more clothes buy bigger door knobs.  

7. Sweep the room with a glance.  

8. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.  

9. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby cre ating a romantic atmosphere.  

10. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.  

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